the best is still unwritten

too much doze of carefulness makes me feel numb sometimes...i need to..why?

to avoid hurting myself,and to avoid people from hurting me...thats my rule to myself...

and maybe some people i love took it the different ways,this is the problem i've been always keep bumping around me,everyday...i just cant help it, im afraid to where my decisions in life will take me from today... coz i think im to numb to reflect and give them the feeling i had for the people i cherish the most...now i can see only one person that i cant hide my feelings , she can penetrate me, shes my younger cousin, she took BSIT to be like me, im thankful that whatever and how will she manage the pedestal she had now to be still and always be approachable. and im happy she didn't turn out to grow an airy person...im happy she still look at me as her good ate...and im so careful with myself cause i dont want her to get disappointed unto the people who believes in me..it innovates me to push more from myself, they are the reason i dont complain, whether my money falls for them, its all ok, they are all worth it...sometimes im afraid to be left out alone and to the point im asking myself what will be the me after today...but you know that is just the one side of the story thats is just a part from my drama blues in ife...i really dont deal with this , because im not the kind of person that loves drama...

the most important thing is i know god had given me more blessing in my life now, and i try to be better more and more each day to give back what God had given me.

maybe im numb but it doesn't mean i dont feel the feelings around me, if only they knew what im i thinking...haha i kinda laugh sometimes to give light to my feelings if i dont feel ok i just set for a while chill...and then take a deep breath then go on...i cant stop right now...if only they knew the sacrifices i've made and how i fight everything just to stick with my rules oh comm'n! its not that easy but still im happy that i choose living healthy and remain a bachelor haha not a common habit for a person but im weird thats what gives me the vast difference from others well im simple yet confusing because of the stuff i affiliated to myself and the strong rules and affirmation i give to myself, i dont care what other people say cause id rather attend to myself than waste my time dealing with fake people...we only live this life once...so why waste it...

maybe you have your own way of thinking about living life once...

same as me...i have my own outlook towards that, so i live my life the way i know right for me and suits me...i i will have my life unique as it is from others and try to venture things i wanted...its nice to have a person in your life to share with whats going on with you but for now i haven't seen one...i guess i meet that before but isn't worth it...no regrets for the person but he had his own life outlook...his in a hurry , and took it with other woman when i look back , his clinging and hooking up with someone else , while im still and enjoying every aspects life given me...but thanks to him i gotta see more from the shades of yesterday...he reminds me that the decision is right that its worth it to took a single  life and to not get into so much hurry...i enjoy the fact that im single i can do whatever i want...so whats the big deal of being a bachelor? haha it doesn't make sense if they will ask me pathetic questions... i will give them my silly smile...

to wrap up everything im thinking now is that for me i thank God for everything and for the guidance & mostly 

The Best is yet Unwritten...

yet , spectacular getaways comes along every time but  still every good reasons for that and looking forward to that day...^^ when im standing in front of that huge edifice in Europe maybe that will be the most special day for me...you know what im talking about? well, i give u a clue...if you look at it , you will feel that will be your most romantic feeling towards yourself and the most fulfilling moment that its really nice to live life and you wont notice how fast time goes by...^^ and thats the wrap cheos gotta goes...

misapprehend

i really love siomai...i ate this when i fell my throat is craving for a coke
and if im totally aloof...

Though i dont have much more to say about whats going on with my life i still love sharing what my perspective each day i live by...

After all the troubles, i left it behind with a whole heart and with willingness , why?cause its not easy and not healthy to live a life full of virus, haha i mean full of negative vibes... i dont want that heavy feeling because it makes my head ache and i cant think that much , i dont want that annoying feeling...i just dont want to deal with so much drama in life... we all have problems but its on us on how we handle things... 

After all, at the end of the day all you will have is yourself...well,for me thats my opinion...hmmm let me say,im 21 now but still a bachelor,haven't fall in love so deeply yet, but had a much more deeper views about love...how was that huh? =O 

some say its weird and its a lie if i say i dont have a boyfriend... i wanna squeeze their tongue to let them realize relationship to opposite sex only exist because of love...hahha i really dont believe on that,im weird? well oh yeah i am, and also extraordinary...where on earth did i get that?! haha i got that from my very best friends...and they are men! yeah they have their girlfriends already but me,im still a bachelor...

simply because i choose so...so what? im happy anyways, i got to spend my time pampering myself, my family and my very best friends...i dont want to waste time clinging around with some men whom you're not sure if they were the ones for you...oh comm'n! cant manage to take that...

they say, how would i know if it will work out or not i dont even trying,well i just thought so...

and i dont want to test my future , i dont wanna mess up with my life, and i dont wanna regret the test...

im a coward? well if thats what people say and that makes them happy haha let them suit to what they think 

for me its all crap to be given such attention... i'll do what i do, say what i think, that makes me a cool feeling that i gotta let out and utter what i want to without even lying, you know i see people always tell lies just to please themselves , how was that? for me it doesn't make any sense...

But in our life their is a certain time that we ought to meet people that reflects different colours 

at this point in my life i haven't been in a world that makes my head spin but i guess i still refuse to because its very unnecessary...its not my cup of tea that because my colleague have their own relationship i will jump into it also nha-ah...thats a no no for me...  they can say whatever they want...still i wont take a hazard move just to do something i know its not so me...i love kit-kat but im not a copy cat hahah ^^ see the difference even if it rhymes... my golly! i wanna venture more new horizon... work in different fields next year...live freely... just what i really wanted to do... 

sometimes its really hard to be a bachelor... its not because you envy people but its hard because :

* people think somethings wrong with you,even if theres nothing

* no one ask you if your ok,but not lonely

* you cant stand to listen to a love song 

* its just it keeps pissing me off the way people ask me and all of that stuff that i keep on telling them, on and on again and again , why dont they just understand that i dont have anyone by me grrrr

* telling the people the same answer over and over and over again

* most painful of all, rejected by people because i cant sway to their trips in life, i cant keep pace with their topic and life because im different i cant love back so they just simply forget we once are friends...i just dont think they'd understand

well, im feeling blue right now, tears may ran down like a razor but nha-ah its really the typical  me...i just felt like this when i talked about my so called friends not to mention my real best friends who never leave me alone even if they have their gf already... but life must go on...and i just gotta go on with my so called tour n life ... towards success! please bottoms up bottoms up... 

u know its Saturday today, every weekend i always sleep late because its the only night that i can watch all my movie tapes , cant do this on weekdays cause work... so i love Saturday nights...im breaking dawn till dusk always...just to watch dvd's and i dont know it makes me feel light hehe ^^ i can do whatever i want and when i watch movies i could feel theres something in me escapes from the stress of working the whole week...at least i gotta do what i want...then sleep...lying in bed and no need to wake up so early because its Sunday after Saturday hahah how was that man! im so excited to go home...by the way i love this new found song...i will share some of the lines ok...:

I knew I wanted you the first time that I saw you walk by
That I need you forever when your eyes met mine
I loved you the first time I heard you speak my name
You'd be the beauty in my life, always

it may sound to you a love song but i love this because its not a typical oh la la love song...hahah i love music you cant take that from me...i just dont love love song that are pity to the bones...hope you get it right,cause im always misunderstood by people who acts they know me but really not... and it really gives me a grit that they assume to know me but they dont barely understand what i simply say,people are too literal that they just listen to what they say they forgot to understand what they intend to listen...

to wrap up everything... counting blues to end the day...gotta go baby blog...see ya tonight...

unfinished business

the best i ever had is that when i was going trough all of that trials...

im a woman with a degree of computer studies but ended up working in a tourism field...its quite a very new horizon, it isnt what i was really wanted to do and wanted at all...

but i started to like what i was doing with...but i can see the difference between what i like and what i love the most doing...i gotta like my work but i dont love it at all...i cant see my self doing this my entire life..so now i decided to pursue my dreams, i may leave this kind of job but its one of the best thing i ever experience in my life, i was polished by this work, i know lots of stuff now, i manage to adopt to different kinds of situation because im not used at it before.
before i finished my studies im a naive lady, candid and vulnerable, nice, yet im so numb to people around me, im heartless i dont feel anything towards people...i dont know why,maybe im just like this
but im a happy person i just dont trust people directly and as other does to other people in their life...
im happy and contented to know i have good friends and family around me, i dont ask for something that is not before me...im very candid that other take it as an advantage because im vulnerable but now im grown up, knows how to react but still i hide what i really does feel towards something...they say they know me, yet i laugh inside because they only see the poker side of me, i want a person that will make me smile even not saying something , they ask me about love? well i havent seen one yet that shines even if sorounded by handsome and pretty people...and as i was saying i really love a person that has a strong affirmation to himself...that i cannot break and that could make me realize im wrong at some point in my life but right in a way i decided it...
i've written this write ups yesterday but i ended this today...enough of this already hahahha kinda tired sobbing  but its really not like hat i had said earlier...
muaaah gonna write more from me...hope everyone likes it this time around...love...love...love...^^

divulge the feminine side

both fem...

i love this two cause its reflects the feminine side of me...love the roses 

im happy at last i already synchronize my accounts cant have a hustle in opening both...or the myspace and mtv...im so high even if still im testing if it would last...

im looking forward to write more stuff that is valuable hahah i know i haven't post something more interesting this past few days but i'll promise i'll  work on that tonight...i'll think for a much better topic to divulge here i just love the ambiance now...even if tis rainging outside...phew...coldie aftenoon...

passion that runs in my vain blood

i am looking forward to an awesome weekend...i love saturdays and sundays 

while waiting for the time to strike 6 pm i make an art wanna share my thoughts and craft in my blog so i hope my friends and readers also find this nice...

my masterpiece for the day... VAIN ...

this is what i love doing 

stuffs related to my personality i want to see my new look next week ,i love to think that im gonna say goodbye to my hair its really pissing me off cause i cant breath i really wanted to cut this even before but no time so next week im gonna cut this off...phew!what a relief...

back to my masterpiece i call this "VAIN" i remember how vain i am when it comes to my hands and to food...
and im happy doing this one cause i remember now one of my favorite songs just this very moment this is the reason im sad the other day cant think clearly cause i forgot the title now i know it already cause as i was giving my masterpiece name the title of the song came popping up out in my fickle mind this is the song :
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now 


But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had 


super love this song but this is not my favorite song...it just happen that this song reminds me of Prince...Aries...Jasmine Caresse-JC...Vincent...Ivan...& all of my bestfriends i really miss our IT Masters group i wanna go after them, even if it took that a while for me to decide...i love doing our work...i envy them not because of their achievements but because they've got to do what they really wanna do and the reason why we took BSIT...i really miss them...
...wanna sleep and go home already ...Saturday's are the best days of the week for me cause thats the only day of the week that i can stay all night till dusk just to watch movies...so by Sunday morning i wake up very late hahahha thats all for now...im kinda busy already...love love love God always...

Cherie Ann Lines ^^