chitchat with my friend Bobby

Actually there is nothing too  much interesting  to know about me, im just a simple woman who wants nothing but to travel around the globe. my dream may sound pathetic to some people but for me its very important and precious. maybe this dream of mine is one of the reason why i want to be single for now, because im afraid i cant and i may bot see the world if i get into relationship. for me when someone gets into relationship, everything around you changes, you need to do your part in the relationship, that is why i cant be involve   at any cause i can hurt someone for the reason i cant handle the situation, why i cant? cause im not ready to go into realtionship and i dont know how, if i know maybe less than other normal people know how. i dont want to cause i know i will hurt the person if ever i do get into it. but it really dont matter to me at this time in my life, it never crosses in my mind seeing myself with someone else i dont know how i manage like this and why i feel nothing about loving. until yesterday, a friend of mind his name is BOBBY explains to me :

BOBBY: it is because you already set your mind to more important things that you think it is in your life, you have lots of things you wanna do and prove and you look beyond today
CHERIE : am i that heartless?
BOBBY : no your sweet but as i had say, the love you had in your heart is not like others, you have a broad understanding about love that is why your not in a hurry when it comes to relationship
CHERIE : why do others,they cant stay single?why me im happy to be like this?
 BOBBY : because,you have dreams ahead of you,you have your goal in life in your head, you aim something for your self, your family and for your future
CHERIE : so you think im normal?
BOBBY : hahah yes of course that is so normal!

i will get there no matter how long i wait just wait - Cherie

that is just some of the conversation that i remember, Bobby is a 40 year old man, we work in the same company and his a gay, a God fearing man, i look up to him when it comes to words of wisdom, sometimes i hardly understand his term i hardly understand Visayan dialect, so he laughs because i look so dumb hahah his like my uncle i just like to talk to him ask some stuff that are not necessary well that is how boring i am.

my covenant

nice to held my hand to yours 

thanks im not so busy right now, i gotta chance to visit my blog, their are things in my life now that i think makes me happy despite the fact i have my own self issues, but yesterday i was CHOKE by my own self drama, because for once i remember my covenant that i forgotten for a longer period of time. when i saw it, i was like "Oh my!i really forgot!what happen?" it feels like i got a taste of my own medicine, and it seems like a bolt of lightning that hits me and struck me shivering, look around and snap my forehead 'man!why did i forgot about it?!'

so maybe its the reason why i was so empty...because i forgot something very important in my life, my covenant to GOD and to myself, i forgot that i was one of the TRU LOVE WAITS people, ive forgot all about it, how did i forgot about it?! then i was given the realization ITS YOUR TEST but then i've pass the quest...and it feels so relaxing i am so cool about it now, for sake! i know myself now and remember everything now, seems ive been through amnesia. theirs more to my life than the bad things,i forgot a lot of things that brought me here.

my friend ask me if i can take him,maybe he took it the wrong way when i said NO THATS IMPOSSIBLE... for me his important, i know his worth in my life, his been very good to me, i cant trade that to a shirt period of time together and broke that connection after if were not cool with each other anymore,nah i cant say YES to that, i'd rather have him as my friend this time than loose him as my close friend, at least in him i found a real friend, his not perfect but at least he tries to understand me, even if sometimes he really pissed me  off,. he thinks because im jealous 'cause she got a girlfriend now,heck i dont! im just hateful cause he never tells me, but in the end i will tell my self Hey!why would he tell you,hahah im do over reacting to something because i dont see my friends when i started working but honestly i dont imagine myself turning my back at my friends, they are all i've got.
But i know i haven't seen someone yet that makes me contradict to my instinct, i simply put in my mind that a guy who loves a woman are man enough to wait for her if not then the man is not worth everything the woman had. its like hey i wanna save my last dance with you but for me its like im saving my first and my last dance with you. see the difference? im tough because at the end of the day only yourself can understand you. if i say something i will do my best not to broke that, strong words comes out in my mouth when it comes to certain issues but thats my prerogative it can never be taken away from me.
Ive already admire someone called Prince i say i love him but that is a different meaning of love, you know i have a wild and broad mind set i dont know why, i take different side and look unto different dimensions that is why i have different reactions into different aspects...
I just hope i wont forget the covenant again so i wont feel empty and i will continue to look forward to good horizons...
                                                                                                     cherie ann lines ...

one of my fallback when im lonely...

Good morning! wow! its really nice to start the day with a smile... i wanna share some pictures from my album just check it out ok... i use some Photoshop with it see the results...

this is the map behind my pictures 

this is with Wang and i look for a girl but its not like me 

nice pair of snickers huh hahah

final retouched see the result?

i really like photo editing...i have more and thanks to lelove i really like her blog i gotta see the flip side of reality to people all around the world...

how do i see like and love

First thing in mind is "i see it as a way to make people happy for a while and hurt them forever" its a heck thought  of mine,but thats is how i see it...people change just like how the color fades,how waves crash to the seashore and washes all away the footprints on the sand, how the weather changes so unpredictably, how the day turns to night, how people dress on style and how we think about the logic of dying...it simply that ironic ...love...like...means to  me. Maybe because i was never love by the person im feeling for, but before someone jumps into and conclude the sentence does they know whats the reason i say that and feel that way? no they dont because people dont like to dig in complicated matters people loves SIMPLE and jumps into it not knowing whats the logic beyond what i say on the first place, they dont even understand what i've said because they dont listen. see the difference between the  REAL and the GOSSIP. it is like THIS WAY OR THE OTHER WAY...its your choice on how we deal into the road blocks of life.

this way or the other way around

TRUTH

i was writing all this stuff in my blog, and as i was strolling around my page i stumble upon to some write ups i've madehahhaha kinda funny sometimes and others are i think boring to read.

i dont understand the picture at t he left it keep on moving hahhah im so weird. well thats how i described myself "WEIRD" like it? nah ah. its creepy but it suits just as me.

lot of things popping into my head like how do i spent my life in the next 40 years.hahhah kidding!

im eating cupcake right now wanna have some? eh no way.  by the way im ok with my so called ex-bestfriend now,but his not my best-friend anymore things between me and him aren't gonna be the same again. things been said and i've move on from that feeling towards the friendship i just left it behind. as i said from the past if the person hurts us once that will be for continuously  existing for the rest of your lives so when i get hurt i wont stick to that again, i will move on left it behind with no hard feelings because it will just cause us depression. the important thing for me and the most helpful way is to lift up your life to God ask his guidance and lift up your life, dont let yourself stuck to nonsense things. maybe they are right that i was never in a relationship but they just dont know i really do fall in love twice i guess . kinda funny huh,maybe its not normal to others to someone like me dont fall deeply in love. im containing myself to much. maybe at sometimes i say that maybe im regretting things sometimes but i really dont regret anything that i've decided. done. said. does. maybe the wrong thing, i should feel awful and regretful but to my right decisions wow as i look around im so proud and level headed when i walk because i didnt do anything to ruined someones life im contented happy fulfilled thankful. and so much blessed to what i have even if its not that broad right now i know someday i can explore what i really want. i just pray that God will continue to give guidance and enlighten my mind. wont let me drown by the worlds sham. and that he will continue to look after me. i know im hard to understand but still im waiting for something beautiful to happen in my life,hopefully by Gods will. ive seen and talked to the person that i was asking to him but were too good to be true his taken by someone else but still i really love the person. its not so me if i say im in love because that word only comes out in my mouth if its true but yeah, im not so deeply in love with him but im in love with him right now, because he gives my confidence back to me he never judge the bad side of me instead he tells me directly. and his good and he just man up himself. it will be forever a secret if who this guy is unless a bolt strikes the universe and i will meet him first hhhahah but still i feel OK because at least i know their are still people like him just like  i wanted because the truth is i really do think no one really exist. im gonna see him again soon, i just wish i wont stumble upon my feet the next time we talk. really looking forward to it. im done gotta go back to work again muaaaaah love my blog your my best-friend now at least you cant complain hahhaha 

waiting for someone to fit in just exactly

ive seen someone deserving to hold my hand but sad to say too late but still a very good sign hopefully the next someone will be empty handed so he wont drop my hand too soon to hold the other handful hand . sad? nah ah! not very much happy with my life at least i know how to be in love eh. i dont go crazy when it somes to love im just cool about it. not in a hurry                                                    

                                                                                                                    CHERIE ANN LINES ^^