my Prince

HAPPY ...what an awesome feeling,for the past few months and decades im so aloof an feels lost unto something, disappointed on some areas in life aspects expectations frustrations regrets awful terrified feared alone boredom all the misfortunes i never thought it was...when all that strikes me yesterday it was all worth it... why i said so? simply because someone finally knows my worth, and believes in me more than i do, knows what i deserve than i know, sees the possibilities in my action, thats just some of it, i cant elaborate more from it, im so relieve knowing the person stood up to me yesterday really the person i look up to, those words that comes up to him is really touching in a way he didn't notice he gives my self confidence back that no one ever did before.

I cant imagine the whole day i was staring at him the whole time his been doing this does that oh my gosh! i dont even realize its already dusk that i need to get off from my seat and leave the office to go home. his so OH MY to me hahah kinda weird i know the person and me is too far from reality and too good to be true but no one can take my appreciation to him his my PRINCE he knows everything about computer that makes him so handsome hahah his so ASTIG! & so COOL and a person full of humor...how about that eh! hahah cant stop admiring him, now i cant wonder why im still single because im so fond at him, the man means everything to me. HE taught me well, i understand more from him, every time he speaks all words means something and will learn from it. Even if i know his too far to reach a hand were friends anyways and thats all that matters. 

Sometimes i do wish my system would bug down so he would come and gives rescue so i can watch him doing stuffs he used to. hahha how selfish of me but kidding aside this man really boost my confidence he inspires me so much that i wanna be like him a man full of determination on his veins and we jive fast no need to boggles everything so much straight to the point no boring moments with him at all cant stop saying IF WE ONLY MEET ME FIRST hahah so much of me! gosh im so dumb-headed i have my tongue tied  whenever he talks i goes like uhm, ah... ok...what? oh no, oh!sorry.. nad stumbles he really knocks me unto my feet but its still finds to him, he never laugh at that instead he tells me the truth and that makes him so lovable hahhah how lame i am right now talking stuffs i dont used to do but it makes me feel light when i write things well and express my self correctly and last thing he gives me a thumbs up for doing my thing OH MY GOSH! i ddint notice i was blushing yesterday hahhah gotta zip my mouth already

lastly, im looking forward to have some chitchat a lil'bit next time to him, talk more and listen more from his interesting speeches, shares truth about life and most importantly we have the same goal and aim in life that sparks the connection im super EXCITED and ecstatic to see him again YEPEY!

                                                                                                                   cherie ann lines ^^

wanna hold your hand just like this till the end

REGRETS?

My fingers are ticking...click click click click...erase erase erase...then click click click...until i am writing this sentence...dont know where it will lead but i know there is something missing in my life,now i can say it than before i was confused,taking the blame,just the typical me feeling my blues in life...and then till i found out the worst realization that slapped into my face...oh yeah very worst and very sad...people dont have the problem its me...i do have the problem within me,i realize this before but the deepest part of that realization i didnt know now i do.

Its kinda sad to think that the person i was hating is none other than myself...i hate the me cause im so mean to people,i ignore their feelings towards me and i ignore those people who treats me well,cause i was blinded and i just dont want to,now that i feel theirs no onw left for me when i need someone to  talk to its because i pushed them away from me,,i dont know if i can have their forgiveness again,i know i didnt do anything to harm those people but i know the damn pain ive caused to them when i ignore them. 

All i need is understanding but i realize i was more damn foolish to ignore them and even me i didnt understand them on the other way.

Im taking my own medicine for that,well its kinda heart breaking but i need to face this i cant turn back time,i dont regret anything i am just feeling sorry for my self selfishness hahahah so sad 

                                                                                                                    CHERIE ANN LINES

mind boggling

TASTE GOOD

Actually i have written something before this line,but then i erase it,i just dont know what to write,and guess how many times i erase whats been written in my blog post,oh my its like a hundred times before something pops out in my mind guess what...

NOTHING AT  ALL,yah nothing so important. you know what im so tired, if i could i want to scream 'FREEZE! LET ME BREATH FOR A SECOND!' im so stressed maybe all of the things just came popping and im having a lot of awful times,i just cant move along,i jsut dont know..im soo sleepy, my head is aching, i feel uneasy, my vision is blurred, seems like everything is mixed yp, and so i feel i dont have an energy anymore. I cant even move my arms to write,but i insist,i wanna out my feelings,at least in here i know no one says THAT THIS questions me WHAT HOW WHY im just so pissed off right now i cant even think directly i just dont know if i can bear with this and for how long can i stand.

Someone makes me strive and get up,its God, its true because when i feel down and no one there to even sit beside me for a second when i look up when i look back its always Him whom i always keep blocking my way and tells me HEY!YOU CAN DO IT,THEY CAN SO YOU DO ALSO.

I feel crazy about little things   in my life,i feel weird about myself, i know myself better now, but i just cant help it to feel awkward sometimes cause i know I've been too harsh on my close friend, im selfish cause i let him know im so totally angry with him,and i dont let him know the reason i just erase him in my life right away, i feel sorry for myself cause as i was walking down my life when i look back i dont see someone for me,its a very lonely path i was walking i did not give myself a chance to try those things. I dont have regrets of what i had decided but there is only one thing i do regret about,its my decision to watch how amazing the world is, if only i let them go with me maybe they will appreciate and they will be happy also of how i see the horizon and how i am amazed with what i saw, the only thing is there is no one want to hold my hand and come with me, and feel my adrenaline rush too, they just simply neglect what i want to offer,now i fel better writing these things, i dont know what would be the outcome of this post but at least i let my burden out for a minute i was typing,im writing stuff thats been popping my head and the emotions i was feeling at this very moment, hopefully one of this days i will bump to someone who is just like PRINCE/the person in the picture. he makes me special when i look at his sincerity every time i look at him smile i picture out myself. i just wanna say:
                                               IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

some realizations and some decisions

Is it really applicable in real life?

I decided to stop opening my personal Facebook account,their are a lot of things i should somehow give up,besides theirs  nothing  i will benefit opening and posting in it anyways,its true that its very in right now,but to people like me,its just simply opening a page,simple as that,so passive.. .>.<
One more thing, im not done yet with my ex-bestfriend..."ex-bestfriend" yes,because i still hate him...to the point i erase everything reminds me to him...i erase him in my friends list,i erase his number so i wont be able to text him,but,he texted me and then i wasn't able to recognize him so his piss off with me also,hahhah well its for the better anyways.

I don't like liars,it will be the last resort of a person i would like,and for me that attitude is the WORST & the MOST BEAST of all the things i hate...now i understand and now i can answer all of my questions to myself well.

How did i find and solve my self problems? maybe too complicated to elaborate all the things that sums up all my questions. yesterday someone makes me understood myself more,and helps me appreciate myself more. Someone explains me how do people think about me,it goes like this :
"if i want something or if i have a goal and aim that i badly want i really do my best to obtain  it,i dont give up easily,just like if how i badly want my job now,it was so clear to me that im still existing on my work until now because i love my job and a dedicate my learnings to it...and i conclude that its really right,i really have a strong affirmation,i stand what i believe is right and i dont jump directly to conclusions,i make sure i wont fail badly,because you know we all not perfect but at our very least we should do our best to live our lives happily,a life we wont regret at the end because of we dont do this,we dont do that. Oh come on!we all have our choices,if we choose not to do it well we are just tangle in that very situation,unless we make our move to climb up and  breath some air,you know something like that. And then i was told your not a useless person,you make people happy,your kind,sweet,candid and their are lot of people expect you to be like that,to be like this that is why you contain your emotions and make people around you your ok with that even if it wasn't exactly  what you feel.
I cant stop my tears from falling as i dig in more and more to myself,i came to a realization that all the things that i've hear is really the person i was looking for a long time,i really dont know that good person t\thats been said it was me,but then as i look back,i can say maybe they are right on saying i contain my emotions and set aside myself to make other people happy.
And to my Singleness drama life,well as i dig that part,it was right im so alone because i was chasing after a bullet train indeed,why?cause i was chasing nothing but my own shadow,i dont let myself get out i make myself a prisoner and lock my heart away to people who loves me, maybe im not that brave but i know i made the right decisions in my life now,at least no one can point finger upon me at the end of the day cause i know i did not hurt anyone because im not into someones life,and no one can question how i manage to live my life cause i know theres no one to blame,and also i cant ask WHY I WAS ALONE because i choose this,i choose the path i've been walking through out my existence.
Maybe for now,im single but maybe who knows and God only knows the time i will be ready to open up more myself to someone who is deserving also to love,a person who wont question my being and a person who can show me the difference between single and having commitment to someone,somebody who can make me feel that im wrong at some point and should accept the fact that i need to love the way i should be because as of now i havent seen someone who is true to his words,someone whom dignity is bigger than mine,and someone who makes me tongue tied hahhahah
That is just some of the answers i get from a person who made me realize that at some point i was qwong at some thoughts i had in life,now its very clear unto my head,now im not bitter,im more open to myself a lil'bit,maybe i was just too much contain of my emotions that i reach to the point that i dont see whats going on around me,and now im more better than yesterday,i can trully say I LOVE MYSELF & THE LIFE I'VE BEEN LIVING...love love love....

feeling my blues

how nice to live life,isn't it?

Im about to off from work today,it's been a very busy day for me...

I notice that my shoulder is getting heavy everyday,dont know why,i dont think there is something wrong there should not be...i dont want to get sick i really wanna work,maybe im too hard unto myself...

What im thinking right now is my never ending drama in my life well,i really wanna take a rest...

By the way my ex-close friend texted me,a couple of hours ago,i really dont like to give him a reply,dont like talking and seeing him anymore...im still piss off about that thing, i dont know maybe it's just me...maybe i have the problem why i cant really find someone who would understand me,im just too hard to people around me,maybe it's just me,cant blame anyone anyways...and im not blaming people either...

it is just i want to find someone who has a strong affirmation in self,a man with backbone,a man that could be true to his words,someone who will not turn his back at me and someone willingly sees the bad side of me and love me despite of that bad side and will widely embrace me as a good one...i really wanna know that person who will understand the difference between that...

If someone would have that quality im willing to smoothen my self affirmation...it maybe a strong word AFFIRMATION to anyone who really understood that,but for me its very important to someones self...nowadays,its just too hard to find a whole hearted and candid person...how sad...

For me my dreams are just air in the dessert...hahhahah muaaaahhhhh gotta go now...

                                                                               feeling my blues...CherieAnnLines