movie and music in my life...part II - the halt of the story

being perfect is so damn difficult to depict...why? because there are a lot of things to consider...

the way we execute decisions, talk, way we think, walk, way we approach people

things should remember well so i wont get embarrass and how we move so we wont get a fatal mistake...

theres no such thing or a person that are so perfect but at their most → ALMOST...i seldom use the word at least in a sentence because for me it means we dont give our best cause we just contented in "at least" but why do that? we can do "almost" and we can accomplish things we carry out in the good and right way we think...its all the matter of decision making and throwing all the selfishness in our selves... we cant be perfect but we can perform , give and do our best to be almost perfect... ^^

at times when i feel so drained with my work, to people, and to some certain stuffs that makes me pissed off, i listen to music or eat or sleep...

now as i looked back all the things i've decide to take, stuffs ive decided to let go, people i prefer not to get involved with and people whom always there with me throughout the obstacles and to certain opportunities that i've given up for the sake of some personal reasons that made me give it up and let go and the opportunities that i've took and grasp that made me the person i am today...i am so grateful and i feel awesome to all journey that i've been...it makes me more maturehumil now, happy, contented, an a person whom i love... i also think in getting into a relationship but not until i found the person whom who can define everything about me...& if that person God will give me...there are lots of responsibilities i know...but maybe at that time im more capable on handling a life with someone to consider 

one of the most sinful and most disgraceful, humiliating, and most shameful bad habit of  a person that i really dont like is being a ...→ LIAR... that will be so pathetic to me...i really dont love people that are liars oh my...just be true to yourselves and you'll feel happy...this is very important to me because LIES means ...Lying equal to Cheating...they both partners in a situation where humans forget their class, brain, self respect and worth...and that is why i somehow stay away from relationship, cause i've seen lot of people throw away lies just to please everybody in the crowd...for me that is very lame...^^ haha 

its hard to get into a relationship, for a person like me...the thing that i havent been in a relationship feared me...i dont want to get hurt and i dont want to hurt anyone...

most of all i dont want a person that will be a hitch, hindrance to what i want... i want a person that will totally knows and accept the real me...i love a man that can define the things i have said in the past...and a person that are God fearing...and a jolly person, and the most important of all...a one woman man...i know this man is very rare nowadays and very hard to find...but i trust God he wont fail me on the person that he would give me someday...well the story has come to its halt...i wont tackle on this anymore...God teaches me a very important lesson..."when you said your happy live that..life is precious to waste"

my life music as this moment is from one of my idols...i have all her songs in my pad...THE CLIMB...and the movie for my life now as of this moment is...haha i love this movie...RAISE YOUR VOICE...very inspiring... 

 here it is sweetie...:

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

and you can also see the trailer of the movie just see the link above

why fades so fast

Last night is the most awful thing that happen to me this month...and i was shocked by the truth i was like struck from a lightning and blast by a thunderous boom in my head...

its so depressing , really it was to me...feels like i was given my own doze of medicine.... people may think im just exaggerating things and being to much sensitive but last night i really know im not, thanks to my mama and papa i manage not to cry...for god damn sake! i was staying cool at that time but momentarily blinded for my care to this person, but then my parents explain it to me well so i took it as cool as i can be...thanks to them i had to escape from embarrassing my self last night. 

they said its not my fault its just im concern to the wrong person...it started when i arrived home last night i read a message from my friend she told me that she were in the house of our close friend so i hurried up to change eat just to see her, in spite of i dont really like to walk cause i get easily tired but although like that still i go to their house but when i was their she didnt even showed even if her sister called her and told her i was in the hall waiting for her cause im really excited to see her cause i treat her as my close friend or even a sister but she refused to...she didn't say it directly to me but im not deaf to not hear what she said to her sister 

"what?why is she here?tell her im sleeping already" 

that is what she instructed her sister to tell me , but i already hear everything she said, so without a word i hurriedly get up took the way to the door and just go home, im ashamed for my self because until now i could see how i still trying to win someones importance even from my so called friends but their not worth the sacrifices and all the attention at all, well it really hurts a lot to me cause i treat her as my sister but i guess thats the end of the line for us, she had her own life now and now i know she really dont give a damn to me even before i know she just suit herself to me cause she dont have a choice she only got me but not everything is different but still im happy for her i just hope our path wont cross again at this time cause if i ever see her i might not talk ti her and i dont want to do that cause i still care for her so much better not to see her again...

its nothing to me right now...i should go on now...im putting this way like this i can still recognize her but i dont know her enough now...on the other side of the story i wont feel any thing that will burdens me cause deep down i know i diddnt do anything to her and i know even if my so called friends changes colors towards me still im happy cause i know we dont have the same feathers and 'ive been good at them thats more important than anything else, i didn't do anything to hurt them ,thankful on the other ends cause for once in a blue moon i've known them for so long and i treat them nice i will just keep up that way on that still i've had a memento from them...

i have learn my lesson to what happen last night - Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.