REFLECTING

...cant find the right words to start this new thing... the week was find though... and a bit nostalgic to stuffs i somehow remembers from time to time the whole time...

have you ever been aware what am i writing this past few post? exactly a month ago since i write a real post...and i was really paranoid every time i forgot to see whats going on in my blog... also a lot of things to post right now but i am really preoccupied  everytime i start to write my thing...stress are really draining me too much... 

when things get rough, all we need is a bit of loose... let go for a second and breath... 

again the other night,some friends wanted to come over to bond again...sadly the night was really dead so i drop the plan... then last night was also fun with my aunt and her daughter, just singing and i really enjoy the moment i spent with them...somehow that was lil bit of a help...maybe im just toooooooooooo stresssssssss 

at the moment i am back on my fb...due to being busy havent tweet for a long time and the only thing available that can be use is fb so no choice,use it...anyhow, it helps me to reach and communicate with my classmates... and im so dumbfounded everytime i post something in my stats....i am so nonsense...i always post lines from my favorite books and author, just wait for them to like of comment on each post i make... and the funny thing now, my cousins and friends are asking me why all thats been hapening on my wall is that stuff... and i was like..."what?there's nothing anyway...and Mikah laugh...shes my cousin...the one i have mention here in my blog before...

i miss writing...i miss the routine... true i became lame this past 3 weeks, cause i really cant cope up with the changes...and maybe because, its still not sinking in me right now... 

maybe also this post im writing right now is a bit of RANDOM... 

...also, i cant really say or even describe the thing that's been randomly hanging right now...it always stays in the mind...it never really comes out...cant even write it properly.... i was saying in my previous post that i will somehow give it a try to share the stuff i was sharing before...haha that was not so really clear i agree to that if you were just questioned as i am right now... now,that makes me weird eh?!!..and that cant be help too...

ive prepared something for the my next post ,maybe tomorrow i will finish it and try to see if it is good enough to post to cope up for my not so good ones posted... and also i have tons of news to share since i really contain everything..

right now... i am having a good time reading the stuffs my friends been posting in their own blog... they never fail to inspire me... never fail also to remind me how awesome to write and to be a blogger... well, that cant be help too... it really runs in the blood... just like how the music soothes in me...

i was like a Wolfpack this weekend of mine right now...^^ haha twas fun anyway...so gotta go

 CIAO ^^ ♥ love love love and i will left this line for you guys...

“Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.”
― Nicholas Sparks

MY BIRTHDAY + WHATS YOUR IDENTITY PART II

its a nice morning for me today...its not just because im in the mood but because my parents sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me...haha but please agree, gestures like that are so sweet...yeah ITS MY BIRTHDAY ^^

and as i arrive in the office this morning, i knew it! this day and tomorrow will be so much of a hectic days in a row... tons of work to be done...so im gona make this post fast...

the first part was already posted last saturday...PART I

The STAR - born with the spotlight on them,last-borns are usually the stars and entertainers of the family...and i really do believe on this one,even if im not the youngest...i can see it from my brother ^^ sometimes spoiled rotten, not only by our parents but also by us, the eldest siblings...they are loved and adored by everyone...even the grumpy old ones...

• you ALMIGHTY - being the youngest usually means you're used to having all the attention. Also the most charming and possibly the most easygoing of all the children...after all,your parents had gotten more relaxed by the time you came along,so you weren't brought up strictly as your older siblings...but they usually absorb the parents "praningitis" hehe ^^ their special though...
• Spoiled Rotten Scoundrels - many last-borns are reluctant to grow up,since they've spent most of their lives being pampered and babied. So most of the time,the youngest children in the family are also the last ones to learn about responsibility and maturity...but wait...im also like this haha...a lot of last borns are also attention-seekers and limelight-stealers, since they're used to being notice all the time...this one i really cant justify ^^ this is just based on my the weird analysis...haha what?!!!
• Bunso Hustle - speaking in a baby voice...(annoying sometimes) is pretty cute...when you're nine years old, but not when they were in their teenie years ya know ^^ Just because you're the youngest doesn't mean you are excused from any responsibilities at home...i taught this to my brother before,now he act more mature than me haha ^^ volunteer for even the smallest tasks,like washing the dishes or cleaning the table after eating...these are small but solid steps that get you used to responsibilities...

The SOLOIST - only...the lonely?... Not necessarily,only-born actually enjoy the undivided attention of both parents...since they have no other siblings to split it with...

• Only You - if you're an only child,you're probably more mature than other people your age, and on occasion prefer the company of older people. You are a godsend to office supplies stores, because being the organized person that you are, you just love to separate , segregate , and folder up everything that needs to be fixed. In fact, for me these people are very independent...^^
• Unforgiving - hehe since yo're quite the task master yourself,you have a tendency to sometimes be demanding and proud...Just because you have a tough hide, doesn't mean that everyone else does...^^ and just so we're all clear on this : when someone else bursts out bawling at your not-so-tactful comment,that usually means you were way too harsh...but i understand these type of persona...really do ^^
• A Walk To Remember - the next time you feel miffed by someone's comments about you or your work, remember that other people feel the same way when you criticize them ^^ learn to say things in a polite , helpful manner...and you'll find that people will also treat you more kindly...

that would be all ^^ i  dont know if im way too far of the words...but i know each one of us has our good and bad when it comes to attitudes...but for me,it is really important that we express the good ones...just dont like the haters...why hate if we can just spread love...hehe im really sweet,i just dont like nega vives... please greet me haha its ma'birthday ^^ love you all...muaaah i will be in hiatus for quite a while... i will be reviewing for my exams...tomorrow is my last day of work here in the office,i will miss all the stuffs here in Philippine Airlines, this has been my training ground...i need to focus now...and to man up,cause as i reflect this morning,im really grown up now...need to be more serious enough...i know im workaholic,but still i want to cross some boundaries...if i fail,the least i can feel is that I TRY ^^ so plese do pray for me...thank you for all the kindness in reading my workd, and on the good words that make me write again...im tahnkful iv'e known such great people around the blogosphere...i hope i have given justice to what i write above...haha its simply fiction,we all know that we are loved by our family and other people around us...lets all be thankful... this is goodbye but for just a while...i will be back...

♥

30 SOMETHING JUST RANDOM

This has been the most shaky week for me... i cant explain much the emotions that im feeling... will i be sad or just feel that im happy...its been mixed up of emotions...i will be away for a couple of days,so im gonna make this post long enough to read...im so random...so im gonna post random things too... when i come back,i will post everything here... wish me luck ^^ yesterday,when i was tweeting, this topic caught my attention... so im gonna list my answers here...

30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile :

• CHOCOLATE - for me, whenever you gave me anything sweets you will be forgiven and thats enough to make me smile...this is at top of my list because chocolates really make my day...takes away my stress...
• PRESENCE - cause im so bipolar,and it will always make me sad if no one remembers me within the day,i always cuddle with my parents even if im so grown up...i just cant help but to be sweet ^^...it makes me smile...
• SINCERE - we all know how to lie, but we also know the difference of fake and genuine attraction of people...this is so important for me,cause im so open with m emotions, this will come with the next one 
• HONEST - i really dont like liars, so it makes me smile whenever im so rounded with happy people and knowing i always have them at my back and would never stabbed you ^^ they love your flaws than your perfectiveness ...
• MUSIC - i know i ma girl but i dont know what to write...these stuffs really make me smile...i cant end the day without music...its on the blood man ^^
• COFFEE - oh do all girls love caffeine? i just love it... im always excited whenever i got a cup...it makes me smile... 
• FOOD - whenever im sad all i do is eat...eat...eat..eat... i just dont know why im so slim ^^ food really comforts me....it makes me smile...
• SODA - some girls dont like soda,their just too ooozzzy really concern with their body hahah calories? its my best buddy! it makes my day...
• PERFUME - i just love scents... ^^ it makes me smile... im this vain eh?
• SHOES - oh yeah.. haha all of the girls love to wear sky high heels... i love to dress my feet, it always give a perfect smile on my face whenever i feel my feet is comfortable... and i love those flats and heels...
• SPA -haha not all of the girls try this , but if they do it pays off ^^ it just nothing,this really makes me smile...
• BAGS - this should every girl put on their list... who dont want to have a cool bag? i love my bag so much ^^ 
• MOVIES - haha another thing... i dont know if do all girls love to see movies alone...well, this is my list so bear with me...i love watching movies,i stay late at night just watching movies...^^ 
• TANK TOPS - some girls love dresses, but as i grow up, i love this more than the dress..i have black and white ones. im comfortable wearing it,im not a fashion goddess so i just go with what i want,love to use it and pair it with a denim...cool ^^
• CAKES - i dont know if you like cakes,but this really wont be forgotten of me ^^ i always buy my momma a slice of cake every night...
• HAIR ACCESSORIES - every girl must have... im vain so i always have one in my bag... ^^ 
• STARBUCKS FRAPPÉ - haha im always get giggles every time my friends treat me for a frappé...they always wanna see me smile...
• PIZZA - do you like pizza? cause i do!!! i just cant hide the fact that i love to eat eh...hmmm, one time i was ask for a sit by a manager of one of the pizza house here in Robinson,cause he sees me buying one,and im talking nice things about their pizza,he gave me his number ohhhhwww ^^ how was that eh?...
• BEEF - i love beef... i can chew it happily, before i dont eat beef, im allergic to it...but my papa help me over come that allergic fear... ^^ yepey!!!
• SLEEP - feels like im really running of stuffs to post hahhaha well, whenever i think about sleeping it makes me smile! ijust love to sleep...lazy much ? :p
• BEACH - every woman had a pull on this one...they wanna swim to show some curves...hhahahha lame!
• FLOWERS - i dont like flowers..but i put it here since girls like flowers but its not on my list ^^ hehe im cheating man!!!
• MAKE - UP - they said...but oh,i dont wear make-up at work... just moisturizer and sun screen,its not make-up but girls love make up so again need to put it here...
• CARDIGAN - who among you girls didnt smile when you've seen a cardigan? hahah i really save my money to have my first on this... ^^ hurray!
• LECHON -ahm, this wont go with the girls who are conscious with their figure... the more they starve themselves, they take every happiness they can have and hurt themselves hahaha kidding!
• MEN ? - oh really, haha i didnt know this, but yeah they say men makes them smile...oh okay ^^ no comment... 
• LOVE - every woman wanted to be love... i just think its okay to be single... as long as youre happy, you can get love from your family...friends...and from work... haha ^^ 
• BACHELORS - well, i dont know about the other girls but for me,it makes me happy when i see bachelors around the city ^^ or even in the movie, i dream that those men where singles haha lusty!!!
• FOREIGN BANDS - i know that my list is weird, but lets get more weirder now, it makes me excited whenever i know foreign acts comes to the Philippines specially BANDS... 
• wow i got a hard time thinking about when i come to last...oh g Do not allow others to determine how you feel.jeez ^^ i dont want to sound clichéd but 13 really makes me smile...i just love that smile!!!! 

some girls may have added some of their stuffs...but aside from those at the list whith a scratch all of them really makes me smile..you must know im weird so dont get confused about those random stuff on my list...^^  when i come back... the next chapter will be revealed... but before that,one of the restaurant here in Robinson offers their promo for the month until Feb. 29... very affordable... its a Mexican resto and i love there place... Bistro Mexicano...

drinks and desert are free too... their beef stew is puurrrfect! i will post it next time... settle for this one first ^^ enjoy the weekend every body... dont forget to always love love love... dont let sadness crap crawls into your system... live life happily and always love everyone around you... and love your family! ♥ dont forget God...always say thank you... and sorry... love you all ^^ ♥ take care... 

REFLECTIONS

have you thought about it?i ask you like you've never heard me saying it...iv'e never seen such blank expression from your face before...what is your answer? still you havent look at me... youre eyes are wandering far beyond... i wanna know whats in your mind... please answer me!!! still no response... ok,just call me when you feel your ready... 

they say, when taking a move, you should make sure nothing will be put on jeopardy when you risk something or on making your move... some they say youre a coward,for not grabbing it and letting it go...but those some never understand the word WORTH if they judge you as a coward... doing something for yourself to grow is both moving on and letting go... and within the process its always been a risk...and always been bitter sweet... 

its always been the WAY how to make the move differ from the others... and its always NOT the same as what you think similar to others...the consequences and the stake of each move are always different...making sure that when you move its like playing the chess, making a move without risking the most important character of the chess... 

when i look at you again,i think its started to sink in your thoughts,so i appear before your face...saying "im with you throughout the way, dont cry...dont be afraid... you have me, so you dont have to worry...when you feel youre feed up,just set your mind to your goal... the road of life is too broad for changes is the only thing certain in your life...you've prepared for this a long time before...fought your life a good battle...whenever you fell down learn to stand up... again you have me...and i saw that smile in your face" - yeah i have myself in me... at the end of the move, its always been ourselves who can understand the move we  make... its always within us... i may be a coward at some point but probably i forgotten the fact that iv'e fought and over come bumps on my way before...its not time to give in the quagmire of confusion - fear - doubt- cowardice is not acceptable this time... i should live my life now... and move forward.. its the end of the line for me here... all i have is all the happy thoughts,since the beginning through the finish line... im gonna work hard now...twice or even a hundred times as i work here...its always been a working process whenever we do something...im a workaholic person, i think its gonna be tough journey ahead...im crossing my fingers...pray that the good man above will still bless me with his bliss and guidance...

so in the end...its been myself whom i am talking to...am i this alone? haha
after all, its always been the reflection which you can turn to...reflect how you've done...to see whats in front of you... to understand how it turns out...and embrace changes...

yum yum yum!try this out...

THE HAPPINESS ♥

the sunset seems to be painted in the sky with the pinkish purple scenery...iv'e longed to held my head on your shoulder as i watch the sun slowly embracing the darkness...iv'e always love the sea...its breeze and its rush...it brings calmness in every bits of my system...as i watch you smile like that...it makes me happy,it makes me want to hold that happy face of yours...i know that your so vain,so am i...but not as much as you,for that i find you beautiful... those smiles,i can see it clearly on my thoughts,just like the clouds slowly fading from the sky... when we walk down the road, just the two of us makes me shiver a little inside,your scent flows into my nostrils, i know it was you... i didn't look at you that moment, avoiding you to see my face from turning red,im really happy iv'e walk with you that time... i was just your friend, and i know you cant see me the way you look at sophisticated woman that was your type. Not enough, every time you say something ,every word you say seems to be the reason why i smile... i always shed and hold my self back whenever i feel im gonna burst out cause im afraid you might notice me... when you mock and tease me, it irritates me otherwise it makes me happy hearing your voice and knowing i exist in your vain world...

it was you! whom,i feel happy...i get stuck at the page staring at your vain face...im jealous every time i saw you with someone else...it makes me utter OH MY GOSH! i didn't notice the time,iv'e got my self dumbfounded...when you saw my wacky face...i just feel crap every time your near,im always in a  fluster...
you just serve the word happiness to my life...
when you light that cigar in your hand,i feel wonder struck,i didnt know you smoke...and now it makes me confused...should i stop loving you? but what about the sunset? those smiles im afraid i may not see if i pull off on being with you? what about the happiness?
i was staring at the ceiling for a long time...sushhh the only sound i can hear is my whisper and the music playing while im thinking of you...
"so you sailed away...
unto a grey morning...
now im here to stay...
love can be so boring..."

TURNING TABLES...

stumble and fall... 

when everyone does, its either let go or hold on till back up again... 

started my work for almost 2 years ago..having my ojt and really became an officer here... i started here with boredom as my partner,no one to talk to,but people whom you dont know...t'was very weird for me, and so challenging to talk nicely to people even if they were talking nonsense and sometimes hard to understand the explanation,my temper were at stake,haha there are really shitty times that i cant imagine myself so cool even if the usual me would walk out,so im'a say this help me a lot...iv'e known my self better,i knew what can i do and what i need to improve...even if the work is so stressing and make me like a zombie in the morning cause of the eyebags,well its quite fun though...in short this work makes me a real busy working woman...

forgot to see some colleague and friends,cause you prefer to take your rest and have your time the ME time so you can enjoy the weekend...its driving me crazy sometimes... but over all,i was attached to every single details iv'e learn from this work...its hard to move on...but yeah,we all need to take risk and have yourself take some chances,cause it wont go back again if we miss it and if we mess it...

my workspace and all my papers,im gonna miss them,all the reports iv'e handle,all the flights and all the time iv'e memorized and all the people whom iv'e worked with...they were all awesome,hands-up to them,they were all sky high with their patience and really used their humility though not all really can handle specially the newbie...haha they should learn how to deal with people...and they'll get used to it soon...im gonna miss all of these...those over working hours that made us go home very late...we were all great at our designated field... im thankful for those people who help me grow...from the maintainance  who never failed to great me and smile at me in the morning...to the guards who always say morning mam,bye mam haha dont they know another word? ^^ kidding! and to the accounting department that i usually seek help when im just at my training period...^^ i know im so annoying before...and thanks to my co-officemates who never fail to share their foods to me,haha they always treat me chocolate + coke + pizza...thats our bonding time...and to my manager who never treat me other person,she treat us so well,and i love her humbleness she's one of the best...

whenever i fail on something, these people reminds me to pick up myself and be professorial enough,there is no such people exist that are perfect...but we must tend to be one...less mistake...if i looked back to those times,i can say im far better today than the time i was just learning and thinking what will be doing...and we all do have obstacle course to pass through,it is just the way that differs on how we deal on it...i know that im so freakin damn sometimes before and even now,im still working with some of my weakness..and hopefully when i start on my new work,i will be able to use what iv'e learn from here and i can adjust and will make less mistakes...if ever ^^ 

this has been driving me nuts the whole month of january...the thoughts of i should left this work...i can still remember the time i was crying so hard,when i get scolded by the manager for the big mess iv'e done...never in my wildest dream,i thought i can be bashed liek that...she never shout out me,but those words i cant forget...until now...after that i told myself that i wont be doing this,i dont deserve that way...i know somehow thats my fault,but if only she stop talking i could have done it the right way ^^ but that was really a total mess,for a flight that was scheduled for the assistant of VP Binay...haha now i can just do anything but laugh at that...i was really stupid at that time...but still the guy is so gentleman she never curse me to death ^^ thats a credit...well, on dealing with these people i should have learn a lot from them...i wont attempt to commit mistakes if working with people like them if i dont want to be bashed like that again hahah i pity myself now ^^ but yeah,i cry cause after listening to their long line on scolding me,the woman said YOU'RE STUPID!!! i was very shocked...in my mind u was also bashing them SHIT!YOURE IDIOT TOO...IF YOU JUST MAKE IT CLEAR AND DONT MAKE ANY CHANGES I AM VERY SURE THAT I KNOW MY JOB WELL PIG! cause shes so fat!!!AND DONT CALL ME STUPID CAUSE YOURE STUPID TOO...WHAT THE HECK!!! haha but seriously i havent think about it,its a late reaction... the thing is the guy havent board the plane and took another one...i think im being stupid that time ^^ hehe 

im gonna miss everything about this shitty work...that drives me nuts sometimes...but hell yeah i love working in a transportation industry where my dreams are so close...i have lots of memories to reminisce im looking forward to grow more from those experiences... im gonna cry for sure on my last day ^^ but now,i need to work ^^ muaaahhhhh bye fella...KUNG HEI FAT CHOI to my chinese friends...love you all guys... 

WHAT LIES BEYOND ♥

its a beautiful FRI-day!!!! i know that im busy right now,but since i had to stop for a while while waiting for the PAL report to be printed out,i spare time to write...its Teacher Mots birthday...hehe i always excited for someone's birthday...i just dont know,im like that ^^ but the post aint for teacher Mots hahahha i just use him for my intro...^^ wish him good health anyway...i will always be his number 2 fan...

when i was young...i was thought that lying is not acceptable and the consequences depends on the impact of that...my father was very strict! and since im a good daughter ^^ ( hehe ),actually im really afraid of my father,that is why im so compose of myself,whatever he teaches me,i wont forget it,or else im dead ^^ but yeah,his strict...whenever my parents ask questions, i always remember me and my brother naively answer honestly...till,there comes a time,when we started to lie...its because of different reasons...we all do lies... but me and my brother cant use lie in front of him..he's just too good to read us ^^ well,is my father so he would know,so we gave up on that...but when we start to learn and go to school,we learn good and bad...this is the phase where we do all what we want...since were kiddos,were hard headed but way back then im really behave but!my brother was! his a guy anyway...but his not bad at all,he just wanna play play and play after class,he stinks when we come home...he was very different from me...im such a homie...and he always out of the house at night after school,his always on the net cafe... when he start to grow,i feel his also growing far from me,im still his big sister but he never share secrets anymore, i never heard from him,until he get into school troubles...i think that was two times...and the first one,we never dare to tell our parents,i was the one who go to the principals office...but the second time,i knew i cant handle it anymore,so our parents were shocked and they were really mad at him,i was the one left to stand by his side,from then on until now,i know he trust me so much,so i wont fail him...i was his hero,even if his physically much like the older one,because his really chubby and tall...and he always been so proud to me,by that he and my parents are my hero too... i always taught him,to never lie...wither its god or bad,we should take the guts to tell the truth...on the PROPER WAY...cause its on how we deliver something that rage something...as i see it,whenever he lie to us,like simple things, he always laugh so we easily caught him,same as me...i cant really hide lies... me and my momma spoiled him,haha when im upset,i just think of them,they reminds me of my goals and to toughen up...*sigh... im so okay now...im not nervous anymore...i was being like this for almost 2 weeks... away from the story eh?... hahaha i just miss my family... suddenly ^^

ikakain ko nalang...its almost lunch time...see ya soon self...im almost there please wait for a while...one more thing is left un-decipher...haha weird!!!! muaaahhhh dont forget to love love love always okay... ♥ ♥ ♥

“Because everybody lies. It's part of living in society. Don't get me wrong-I think it's necessary. The last thing anyone wants is to live in a society where total honesty prevails. Can you imagine the conversations? You're short and fat, one person might say, and the other might answer, I know. But you smell bad. It just wouldn't work. So people lie by omission all the time. People will tell you most of the story...and I've learned that the part they neglect to tell you is often the most important part. People hide the truth because they're afraid." -Jo” 

― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven

TARA  LET'S EAT!!!!

THINK RANDOM

“As a girl, she had come to believe in the ideal man -- the prince or knight of her childhood stories. In the real world, however, men like that simply didn't exist.”

im not a hater of LOVE...i believe in it,cause i feel in love with my mother and father ...the one's who guide me when i was just about to learn how to open my eyes up to the time on learning how to get up when i was just learning how to walk and up to the woman i am today...for a so much emotional , sentimental person like me...maybe some dont understand why simple things makes big impact to my self...

a persons patience is somehow a virtue for me...i know before i have a little of this...thats not a secret to people who knew me anyway...and thats my flaw,and im thankful for those who accept that and never try to shun me because of that...same as you...you also have flaws and its up to the people to understood that...we cant please everybody though...i also hate to talk to much, specially when people talk to much of such nonsense stuffs... its not that i dont give a damn to my surroundings, i just dont like to blab with other people...so not me,so not cool...

someone told me,its all ok... and so i believe...but i really have this low self-esteem way before...all thats giving me the courage to move forward is my motivation that someday i can go around the world...stupid dream! yeah,but thats the reason why i choose to be alone... and regrets too also part of this path i choose...true to be called that im paying the price for this,but ITS A GOOD THING...yeah...

im in a crossroads right now...undecided which way to take ahead...but neither of all the roads lead me to be with my love ones...i wanna take these roads one by one...its not necessary to let them know my plans...it will just make them sad... i wanna spread my wings and take the risk to try another field...i dont know too why im so different, why cant i just be a simple girl just like the others...my cousin ask me this,my answer is...i wanna see whats on the other side of the world,and the most weird answer i gave and the most funny is that i want to be an ambassador of people,i wanna know how far can i go...i wanna travel and work hahaha i wanna go to Cairo...Italy...France and the whole Europe...i want to live working... this place is very memorable to me...cause all the feelings iv'e shed is this place the only witness to that...i will miss my table...my chair...my shelves...my telephone...my view from the glass...my paper works...and too many to mention ^^ breath in breath out... if i fail... you will be the one to know first my dear blog... ever since i started to write on your page...its all about the other side of me...

i was a life lover... i hate cats and i love dogs...i started hating cats when my pet died...i get rid of them...i love dogs cause they knows how you feel...they never betray you...they kiss you even if you wont say it... so i hate people who dont have a heart to take care of them.... my auntie was very sad yesterday,since her pet chu-ua-ua died, she was like my aunt's baby...they sleep together with her husband...gross!but the dog doesn't stink so its ok to sleep her with them...she took a bath too... i feel sorry for her and to my uncle who cry river for her passing...

any ways... this is just my random thoughts that at the moment still cant think clearly...maybe,there's always a time in someones life that goes rambling like mine today...im so afraid that i might not make it next week...i dont expect but the thoughts keeps on coming in my mind...the what if's...its getting me so damn nervous...

those roads...your shining ahead as if your willing to let me pass...and here i am, still looking for the confidence for that day...my time is running out i know...but i also know, at the right time i will be prepared for you...oh my life!!!! is this hard to be alone?... though im happy...i know i wont regret if i took either of the road...i just need to believe in myself too... ^^ 

BY THE WAY for my friends who keep on asking, man!i think i cant have a love life as soon as you want, haha dont bet,you'll just get disappointed ^^ i still have a long way to DO...not to go...and maybe you dont understand why i stay like this... i just want to make myself happy... wither you like it or not ^^ and when you say something please,dont over say it... everything thats been too much will always over flow...haha dont hate me for saying this...i may hurt others feelings but i really dont mean like that, you know me, i dont really want to explain whenever i say something...so please before i get mad... please stop asking me stuffs that are not so important guys...i know also you dont mean something bad,but thats what i wanted, leave that thing to me...^^ again im HAPPY even if im single,dont get bother about my status you guys, you dont have to do about it...even i have the face,i still choose to be this way so please dont make me mad at you ^^  lets just love love love... and hoepfully this is the last time...

#this post is my mix and random emotions for this day...

sorry  i just wanna let this something  to be out of the box...

its not making any good to me...

JUST SO YOU KNOW

" i will...i'll take the blame on myself...fine with me though...for i know i cant just take back what I've just said...

sorry if i offended you're ego...of being a real man?or by cheating on our friendship...i knew this will come...i thought i can escape... and im wrong...i cant just ask and say Can you just forget and forgive me? cause its a sensitive matter.... if only... but i dont believe on IF's... so to say i was really wrong from the start..." - these are the words FIRE wanted to post on ICE's page this morning...

she felt guilty about the awkward atmosphere between her and Ice, but she prefer not to... to avoid more conflicts and misunderstanding about the matter...of LOVE... she stares at the side bar and watch how fast the guy log out when he notice Fire's presence on the  networking site... tears fell down, she dont know how to be fine when she's not. Confused too on how Ice found out what she hides. They both are good friends for a long time, yet the situation feels too weird now. No one knows though whats secret she's hiding on her closet,that she never dared telling to anyone. Before Fire tries so hard to fight the feeling for her friend Ice. She then started to dont communicate to the guy, avoid a conversation with him, a move she later regrets. Thoughts are rambling on every corner of her mind, thoughts that is killing her,she doesn't know how to react and act to the situation... Ice might not directly showing he knows and directly avoiding her too, she knew it already... but a girl or even a man would know if someone is avoiding someone's presence.... and for Fire she doesn't like it too.... Fire thought that if loving Ice is betraying their friendship, she should have known this before hand so she can avoid the feeling, but she also know that she doesn't regret anything about it,if there's any...
Fire wanted to say "just so you know...that i've been on hell just to forget you! i know i cant be your girl, and i rather be your friend, than seeing you moving on,on forgetting me" 

Questions flew up on her mind... How did Ice know? What should i do, ignore the awkward moments too, or pretend there's nothing flaring? Should i regret i fell in love with Ice? Scold myself on avoiding Ice first? and random thoughts... what will happen to them,is the ending happy? or the other way round? ...

me too, i dont know, its up to their ego, a wise men can decipher they dont see...

characters : Fire - a girl, and is happy - Ice- a guy, and very cold

all i can say, if you dont like someone falls for you, you dont have to be rude to the person, take it as compliment or just ignore it. but being rude is not appreciated,there are nice way on doing it...we all have our own opinions, and im not a person of to many words much to say,, bully is not cool.  well, this is life... its the life were living and coping... i hope everyone is good ^^ anyways...im super excited for the SINULOG cant wait to post it here!

CIAO! IM WRITING AGAIN! ♥

people sometimes say,wish they were a child back then skinned knees and maybe young enough to burden life's chaotic struggles. one way or another...all i know everything should be balance... the me right now is going like this... "hmmmm take a deep breath!raise my palms on the air,feels the warmth on my face while resting my elbow on my table..." thats my routine everyday when i tired my hand from typing or whatever stuffs im doing in front of my computer.... you know that i really love watching movies or series,but not that fanatic on our own... sometimes im greedy when it comes to my favorites , yeah, i dont share it to others, its like my secret and once i love it,it became part of me... though years gone that pass, i still search ways to find it and watch it... so maybe thats the reason why im so peculiar when it comes to movies, plays and series... i love foreign ones... its unpredictable, and aigoo! their stories aint shit that you've sen before, they always have something to touch viewers, lessons always there,but the heart's not always present on a project... i can say,with all the movies and series in our country,only a few that sticks to my memory... we have good talents but they focus a lot of stuff, what i love about foreign is that when they got talent, they not just give it a shot but take the risk not just risking but they worked hard,and really stick to their strength so they can develop more from what they lack. we do have different views about it, i wanna say something more but i better keep it myself, its respecting my nationalistic side...as im done with my papers,ive watch again a series...yeah,its foreign... i love it,it gives justice to the story. when i plan to watch something, first i read the story ^^ im a cheater! this one that i just said earlier is way too cool for me, and it makes me sad,cause im done with it already, i should get a copy this weekend so that i can watch it again.  i think,this has been my 2nd favorite kdrama series that ive fallen into loving it. one of these days i will post it here...my three top  favorite series on taiwan and korea. im really not a fan of kdramas,but since i really wanna see the one im telling now,i give it a try and tada! awesome! i was blown away...

this week,is special to all of us cebuanos...we'll be celebrating SINULOG '2012...how i wish it wont rain this sunday,the weather forecaster said it'll rain,and speaking of rain...it does rain this morning! that ended me up wearing flipflop and had my shoes on my bag,that makes it heavy ^^ my oh my,its really messy outside the house,muddy way to the road,haist stress out *sigh... but its fine,what pisses me off is that when i took the cab on my way to the office, the rain had stop, and i was like a wet baby chick haha i pity myself this morning...what a day! my life!!!!

back to the topic, im hanging out with my friends this sunday,we'll watch the mardigras, see old faces again,yay! im excited as much as they were...as you all know that i was really busy on work,almost 2 weeks, so when i got home, i barely touch my phone, i cant reply to their messages asking are we all coming...and since im done with my papers, im really happy to announce that guys!yeah im coming... haha see you all, i wont get tired with you all around!  sinulog is very festive for me, got to see the solemn side of the cebuanos, cheerful faces, friendly people around waking at the city scapes...and i gotta had this chance to see my friends also... break from work...  next week will be chaotic for me, but before i stress out my self on that, ill take this opportunity to have a break for a while...

on the side note, its my birthday on the last week of the month... i really do feel im getting old and i feel this blues again...hahahah we'll talk about it next time, for sure i;ll have to write long enough...for now, im going to read and visit my blogger friends post, i miss reading and commenting on their work,since i was really busy to death...^^ this has been the other side of me saying ciao and godbless us all with his guidance and grace!

fish fillet + mashed potatoes

i wonder if Orange will also love this dish, this has been the best fish fillet someone could whooped down ^^ hehe this plater is for my friend orange...start eating your's too...^^

SUM UP THE 7 DEADLY SINS

this may be a late post...its because after the holidays tons of work awaits me on the office... now,i still have to deal with pile of papers to be encode...im far from done...whenever i had the extra time to stop my work for a while then hang my self to my fav. bloggers pages, read their post, then back to work...then again...

im thinking lots of stuff...im thankful enough that there are people also who read my post,whom i think just all about my boring self...^^ and i cant afford to lose the chance on reading their post also...it somehow boost my energy, strive more...kind'a weird sometimes cause i barely knew this people, but i cant stop talking about them...(just like now)...their busy buddy also but still manage to post and write sensible ones...haha i was like this all the time "IM GRATEFUL IM A BLOGGER and know them..." proud huh...☻ i dont see my blogging hobby this way before... cheers! 

on the other side of the story...im gonna make a list...i was thinking for days to what will be the contents of this list...actually i wanna make my statement more longer, i dont know how to cut this short haha ^^ kidding.. 

• what about my PRIDE? well,i think everyone of us does have this within ourselves. instances really do come, that i dont notice its unbearable...it really comes out...but i ask and examine myself too about this, im not really a disdainful person, i know im tough but im not a proud monster ^^ also pride will only take you NOWHERE,ever since my papa taught me to be humble,so im thankful,last year im able to stay away from this sinful act,they say, im fierce but not arrogant...they also added that im sober at times i need to panic(off topic ^^ ) 
• if im humble,what can i say about WRATH? ... i do easily get mad,but never i turned it to anyone,i know my temper is uncontrollable, but since i started my job, i learned how to separate personal aspects from professional one's, i know i deal different kinds of people, but still it isn't an excuse to burst out, i can say...I MAN UP! i was so happy when i know i was able to cool down my temper...i do handle myself on the right attitude,myself. moreover,i really dont like arguing to anybody...if im pissed off,i just listen to music,eat, read, or watch anything to cool myself down...arguing is just a waste of time...^^ 

ONE OF THOSE DEADLY SINS FOR THE BODY haha ^^

♥ SCARS LEFT ME → ?

as i sat here...all that stuffs that randomly passing through my brain leaves the trace of biding goodbye...a lesson to learn and should be taken into the deepest part of my ego...should be taken seriously...and should understand by me...it always came to the point, that im almost letting go of the fact that im gonna make it...yeah, the toughest bone that supports my every flesh is now a chicken...im really afraid for that day...but i still hope and trust God he wont spare me from that opportunity and that he will guide me always...

that random thoughts of being a coward is worsen on the fact that im hurting so much inside...i hope it isn't true...how i wish i did not see...and how i love i did not feel this...i am happy before...before iv'e liken someone at this moment...he isn't like a book i love that if i want it i can buy it...his one of those happy moments that i have this year...but i prefer to forget about and rejected my own feelings for the person whom i picture my self holding on to...id rather take the risk to keep it on myself...yeah im a coward...on many things indeed! even if telling the person i like him would lessen the burden and would set me free...i will still choose what iv'e decided long ago...hell yeah!iv'e restrain myself from opening my fb to get a hold on myself on pepping on his activities...i was happy i gotta rare opportunity on spending christmas with him...haha but from that moment i knew it....yeah...me  & him is IMPOSSIBLE...iv'e said it already before, i wont talk about him cause i dont want nega vives here on my page...but i cant help it...for the last time of the year , before it ends...and before i will forget him totally i wanna let go everything about him...if love would be this painful i rather choose to stay single...but yeah...as tears feel down like razors...i know he is the moon and im left watching him...im such a dork, im feeling this shit...im scolding myself cause i know im tough and my weakness is my family...but still im a woman whose heart so fragile...i can deny the fact now that im in love with the person...how can i say it when all i can see is his cycle and on his world im nothing compared to him...check sad reality isn't it...but above all the painful fact...im also happy that i have a chance to see his smile and hear his voice this close...haha if im a stalker ... im the best stalker a person might be...but the holidays has ended and so i cant see him anymore...back to normal days, im wondering if time flies by...will he still be single?or that girl his going to be with...only time can tell...but i cant really tell him i love him that genuinely...this is freaking me out! im no good at heart...i dont have any experience on loving until i realize iv'e love him long before...if i were to choose , i rather die than telling him about it...its very embarrassing...i dont wanna text him anymore...SWEAR! and i dont wanna see my phone ringing with his name on it...you dont wanna see me panicking like crazy that i dont know what to say when i pick up my phone...bullshit...

times like this makes me eat eat eat and eat...you wanna have some of macaronz i have right now? i know you want to but sorry me cause i dont have my camera now,all i have is this one iv'e took with my friends cam...this is my fav. to eat with my father and brother when we go out...

CHILL ITS HOLIDAY!

since 2011 comes to its end soon...i am having a review on my self and  rating myself just like what iv'e read from a fav. blog of mine...he rate his blog and self...i will try to have a unique way of rating my sweetie also...well, to those who dont know whos sweetie is, sweetie is the name of my blog...haha weird eh?...

Whats the achievement ive come across to?

iv'e got my job! yaiks! oh goodness...very tiring one!super head breaker...i wanna say...i am earning my own money now... i can go out now alone...^^ wow after years of containing myself to the four corners of my room the daily boring routine of a student...school home school home...well i survive all of that...im a working woman right now...iv'e man up a lil'bit...im serious before, but i can say iv'e notch a rank this year...im more focused on my goals,well,im a goalie ever since but iv'e strengthen my will more.and im step by step taking the path iv'e foresee for myself before...ive had a happy life with my simple family also...that matters most to me,a happy and a smooth sailing everyday of our lives,id make sure that i spent time with them than before...and iv'e over come the shadow of my self...my shyness...ive gain my confidence on dealing people...ive control my bad temper already...and im more grateful i still have my friends with me...ive manage to have my self grounded and stay away from bad vives...^^

the maki the maki the makI!!!!!!!

Do i have a love life at last?

oh goodness...i dont still have one...haha still zero on this...

they say...NO!i dont believe you!its impossible you dont have a boyfriend...but enough of that...do boys need to be the measure and reason of a lady's life?...how about the work, self pampering, achievements, cycles? why not that first before asking love life?...sometimes i cant help but pissed off when ask about this thing...hahaha until ! last month...remember iv'e said finally im in love...but i dont have a beau still...

i love the person whom i know would never feel the same way, friends and cousins said, im such a coward to love a person secretly...too much of a creep...maybe they were partly right about that but what do they know? haha i know i know right! im a coward, but i will choose to be a coward than him knowing iv'e had feelings for him, his my friend and i dont wanna change anything about the attention, im afraid ? yes...afraid that if he knew about this shit thingy...he wont be friend me anymore, twas like his my friend for how many years, for me i betray our friendship, and mostly the biggest reason i have is that his an achiever im such a nut compared to him...im no pair for him, its not that im looking down too much to myself but thinking that someday , im entering his cycle i might get overshadowed by all of those fancy people he had...i cant get to his level...iv'e started to  stay away from him,avoid contact to his skin haha yeah thats how i badly want to control my feelings...because as long as im letting myself get drown on him the more i know i will get hurt soon...and i did...so im such a looser coward...^^ i am left with the question "why cant i have someone to love me?...hahaha how emo...will thats how it ends so maybe next year i can have a beau haha but maybe still not...im such a monster ya know...

I FEEL SULTRY BUT NOT NOW...

its sinking in me already...i can feel it, as the days slowly counting to end the year...

Christmas is in the corner already...

and im feeling blue...or shall i say , im having Christmas blues...well, maybe it is...

on the other hand of the story...iv'e almost cried at this very moment...haha why? because theres someone who walk in , in the office, talk to me and ask about flights of PAL...he then started to talk about VP Binay...i was just listening to him while talking on the phone...then after he smiled talked again to me and told me about it,he then say thank you for certain help iv'e handed...then he gave me something and say MERRY CHRISTMAS...then he explain why shes staring at me(well,let me clear his not a maniac ok,his oldie and his very sacred haha his a SULTAN in mindanao...he said " in our religion we dont dis grace our woman,we love thee , but as what i have witness in your religion not all of you naman, but you can agree that meron talaga mostly of your guys dont treat your woman nicely...in mindanao, if you brokenheartedly hurt woman you will pay for that,and you will be sorry, we dont feel mercy to guys who hurt woman and children..." and i was like pausing in front of the Sultan  like a post for a couple of minutes...and he said "so dont be confused why i gave you that,i remember my sister in you,shes a steward,that is why i feel people like you..."

and i was stunned by what he just said to me...like WHAT?!!! how come a stranger just walk in my office,ask something and have penetrated something in me as fast as like that...amazing! hahah eh?weird...mamamatay na yata ako haha...well, ang ganda talaga ng morning ko, all of a sudden my sadness fade away... i dont know how that look in his eyes and his smile...i remember what my father just did this morning for me and my brother...oh my mamamatay na talaga ako haha freak...

so...back to business...ive managed to wake up early again...the 5th and the 6th morning mass...the message was the Annunciation of Mother Mary and her Visitation to her cousin Isabel...consecutively...

smoothly it goes well, but the mass this morning was like a test to everyone, the weather didnt quite well,slight rain showers during first reading...since we are outside the church,but still we have our own chairs, momma said to go inside it might fall off soon, so i did and its very hot inside, im sweating a lot like baldi baldi talaga hahaha kid! i was standing there inside, and after the priest conducted the final doxology we go out to where my momma was,by then the rain started to fall, but it didnt threaten us instead we just stand there and wait for the final blessing...i just love to be like this forever, yung walang sungay ang head ko haha

im so happy, i can fullfil my Chirstmas list...its not a wish list but its a list of things i wanna do to be bid farewell to this year...i can foresee that im doing my job well...hahahha keep it up keep it up...im cheering myself alone... dumbness ^^ well,im weird that cant be help...eh?...

piece of heaven...

read after to see the complements given to this one...oh heaven! hahaha 

3rd & 4th MORNING MASS KICK OFF!

the third and the fourth morning mass...

so far the sleepiest morning mass iv'e had was on the 3rd dawn...i just dont know why...at first i feel very warm,seems like its not dawn,and im sweating a lot...i ask my momma to move a lil bit further cause i cannot breath...and they were all laughing cause they feel cold and i was the only one sweating like hell hahah 

and after a couple of minutes i feel better...and the mass goes well...but there's something i notice during mass...

so the fourth morning mass was this morning... 

it goes well, also...but the thing is the something i was talking about the mass is that...the choir song choices...i just dont feel it...like, hello?!its Christmas so why dont we sang Christmas or Holy songs to praise each masses? no wonder people who attend the mass dont sang along with them, 'cause actually we dont know the songs...i was used with the old ways that during Christmas masses we sang song of holy and more lively christmas church song choices...

on my view, it only happens once in a year so why dont we give more to God, why can we choose nice songs without meaning to sang with our heart and lungs out full of nonsense...and when it comes to singing and giving praise Him for his birthday we settle for songs like its not an important event?...*sigh* 

im planning to tell my auntie to advice the choir so that they will sing christmas related praises just like what the Mnsgr. wanted and also to give respect to Him cause its his birthday not an ordinary occasion...

we have done it before why not now also?duh...really getting into my nerves a lil bit every time the priest finishes his part and so the people would sing, we dont know all the songs,and what more depressing about it is that you can really hear that the voices you can hear was them only...

i mean, the celebrant and the reason why we go to church is because of Jesus and to worship him,and give praises to Him...its not our place to shine its Him who really need the attention and needs our heads to turn to...not ourselves... thats very simple yet neglected...i was really nagging with all these stuffs and telling my momma and aunt and they agree hahah *devil smile*

and when you have these issues better to eat it all out...well, thats me when comforting myself hahahah yummy! you can order this at majestic,robinson...^^ feel free to dig it out...droll hahahahah

the cabs...lettuce + mushroom + bread + egg on top = H E A V E N baby!

2ND MORNING MASS '11 AND ITS LESSONS

Angels... are mythical beings often depicted as messenger of God on the Hebrew and Christian Bible and  Quran, also ive read on a certain Christian site that Angels are pure spirits created by God...the word ANGEL comes from the Greek word "angelos" which means messenger...and they have specific given characteristics and values to elaborate more further these beings...well, iv'e come up with this because i saw the modeled manger in our church this morning that the only statue that stands in our church manger is the angel...and it was also discuss to us people in the church before the mass ended that our church committee  lacks fund for purchasing the manger that should be used during mass...before it was really a routine that the statue of the saints will be used for the manger,but the church ministers dont allow it now,cause the risk of using the real one's is maybe a hustle for them and they are just protecting and avoiding the real ones to be damaged...we just dont know what could have happen in the future...we cant be perfect anytime, eh...^^ so thats great that the administration also tell the people so that we can contribute for the manger and for the church also...

well,back to the mass, this morning it rains so hard here in Cebu...but it didnt stop me from attending the mass...3 am im very wide awake, and i started to send mms to my friends, this is really my devotion to them,i will be their alarm clock whenever they are in the country...and hopefully they are not annoyed whenever they receive my morning message...haha and i decide on this alone huh...some gave some response like 'WOAH ITS TOO EARLY!' "YOU REALLY SURE COMPLETING THE MASS HA"...

well,that cant be help... ☻

♥______________A  BOWL  OF  HAPPINESS FROM HEAVEN________________♥

please read more...so you'll know the whole story of todays mass...☻ thank you! i put the break here cause i dont know where to put the foodie...^^ hehe yum yum yum!

FIRST MORNING MASS BEFORE CHRISTMAS ♥

this is one of the most memorable morning mass ive had...because for the first time...haha the mass was pause for almost 20 minutes,to give way to the Mnsgr./priest , the mass was about to reach its end, when suddenly before the peace be with you part, he was gone and haha i wasl ike, momma,where is he?Missing?...then i chuckle a bit...momma said,he goes to the CR...oh goodness hahaha ...well, thats the funny part but i also appreciate and overwhelmed with the neighborhood,the church was jam-packed this morning...im happy that people in our town didn't forget to attend the mass...and i hope to my self that i can finish this through out Christmas,and to continue what iv'e always done by the past few years...^^ 

IM SO EXCITED!...♥ ♥ ♥

and maybe tonight i will start buying my gifts for everyone...i feel awesome, cause i know i can share some happiness...we all know material things cant buy real happiness...but being able to feel that the real gift i wanna give this Christmas is that, what i really actually wanted to give them,they feel it right now...and im glad iv'e so rounded by good people...simple,yet honest enough to let you feel comfortable that your effort are not wasted...

at this time of the season...its very weird that im always a cry baby...^^ oh yeah, when i think of something right now, i always feel like crying...not because im sad...its because im always overwhelmed... thank God, the pain has faded perfectly without hurting myself...the hurt has faded but the love and happiness brought by it remains untouchable...maybe this is sounds weird...but its a matter of choice...i can see im no one compared to him, and that drives me to left the feelings behind and buried it there...soundless...they may think im such a coward...but to live in a country like ours who value so much dignity...maybe iv'e made it right to just keep it myself...its not easy but its cool cause it makes me push my self more further, take more risk on making decisions so i can help myself be better enough for the future...not to be better enough for someone...but to give credit to myself for such a pity now...hahahah revenge revenge! kidding aside, i haven't buy the Christmas tree , hah my momma reminded me this morning...before, when the first morning mass approaching we already have our xmas tree in our sala...but now i dont know the people were so busy doing nonsense with my self also...^^ but i will buy it tonight...stress...hahaha
so everybody! good luck to your Christmas welcoming...love love love ♥

..............................................................................................

EGGPLANT  CHIPS  ↑

this is very addicting... again... what iv'e eat is a piece of heaven...awts...super shallowness of my happiness ...hahha i love food...

DELICIOSO!... ♥

A LIST TO CHILL FOR A WHILE

true about  it...its been a roller coaster ride for me the whole year round... or should i say after i graduated college...'twas all worth it...have the long awaited freedom to do some things you wanted when  im still studying,mostly the stuffs that torn my heart a million times cause i was deprive from it...all the sore was all worth it...got my job...super cool, your earning for yourself, gotta help the family also...people whom you didn't know to last were the ones who lasted and never held back even on their thoughts...thanks to all of them! im looking forward to see them randomly year after year beyond today...

i wish this Christmas would be special...really hope so...

my Christmas wish...list ^^ that i barely stick on to...

1. complete the morning mass routine , just like what i am doing for the past years...

2. i wanna be more happy and continue to carry it on welcoming the new year...

3. wish to spend the last days of the year to friends and family...the ones who gonna come from other place and the ones who will eventually fly for a greener pasture...

4. hope i can give more love to the people whom i owe   the attention and great things...and hopefully i wont forget anyone whom i will send my gifts..though i forget always...^^

5. i hope i am well on that day so that i can last the time needed to all the events i will be into this holiday...

lastly...i want us all to have a merry merry Christmas with our family...and just enjoy! God is the reason...

 i stop making resolutions and Christmas list , cause i cannot do it...i always ended up failed... then when i look back now, im amaze! cause probably some was not a fail...just like going to the mass...im always present even if im sooo sleeeeeeeppppppyyyyy i always scold myself, then get up...chill for a while then i find myself setting in the church waiting for the priest to start the mass, and during masses i dont feel any drowsy at all...im always very awake...lolz! ^^

rambling...at the office

...NEVER SAW IT COMING...

... i never really saw it coming....never even in my presumption...never foresee that one of those days i'd broke down like that...like down in the dumps... but  thanks God im a far cry about it already...wow bilis ^^
im inspired...by who? not who...but why...yeah...the reason im inspired is that someone made me realize something so important in my life and i left it behind...put it in a closet and bury it there for such a long time...what was it?...im talking about my unfinished songs...no one knows i love writing songs,poems,stories that was before when i was not that busy,still a dorky student back in college and my best friends would hangout in the cafeteria then make some melody for my songs...that was all fun...i love reading...i never saw this before that one day i will forgot about my abilities...
then my favorite blogger / writer / artist...lets name him...he is Teacher Mots...weird name yeah...but thats how artist tag themselves... he inspires me a lot, not the typical inspiration that emerged right away...i know im so hard to please but this man is such gifted that i dont know how to elaborate him more further...maybe his far different from my idol in painting Mr. Aris...and my uncle whom an artist also they both well known on their field right now...Mr.Aris inspired me to write more songs, while my uncle is my idol when it comes to discipline, dedication, work oriented and more blah blah blah...^^ but Mr. Mots specialize on something...his cathcy...his on a comical basis...and he approach children...his a teacher anyways ^^ haha  and i like how he express his love for his mother Mrs.Mudrax...super COOL!

i forgot also the purpose somehow this past few days the intention and purpose of my blog...maybe because i was too carried awat with my damn emotions...haha darn i forgot my tag line
 'THERE'S MORE TO LIFE MAN!' ...
Howdy of me...now im super back on track not just the word okay but far far far from that day full of stupidity ^^ my respects for teachers intensifies more and more each time i read his blog post..well if he post something very rated PG haha its his choice its his blog kinda learn from him...eh? yeah, im not used reading or hearing those words from my environment but i can hear it somewhere else, even in a bunch of friends, and my usual response is to be just quite and smile...what more can i say? im just telling you my friends that im okay now...no more l.o.v.e emote...that is so not cool...and very not me...

a home made bread...

ADIóS! HELLO ICECREAM

even if the whole universe conspires no one can stop Christmas!

i am randomly thinking about what and where should i have my christmas list...need to purchase it...im such a busy fella, because? is it escaping from the real world? na-ah! not that reason...i keep myself busy as i could so i wont feel the pressure being alone and maybe im over thinking stuffs that is why im sickly lately...can i just say one bad word? hhhuuuuussssshhhh damnit!

this is all i wanna say...maybe this is the first time im using this? well well well i cant help it...my head is so full right now...plus the fact i really need to dump that damn feeling! i just knew yesterday he already have someone on his heart and im so stupid for feeling so sorry to myself! but i know i can move on from this damn so called first love...what? yeah! got that right! on my 21 years of existence in the universe...iv'e never love someone before...maybe iv'e admire guys before but its not counted because i only admire artist from Hollywood a big booooooo! to myself...  wanna trim my hair like before when im depressed because i cant go out outing with my cousins and cant attend college intramural during my junior year cause its very late already and my father is not feeling the earth vives that time and his monstrous when he say's NO!CANT GO!...

THE FAMOUS WARM BROWNIE CUP -  LA MAREA IN CEBU