Tuesday, August 30, 2011

why fades so fast

Last night is the most awful thing that happen to me this month...and i was shocked by the truth i was like struck from a lightning and blast by a thunderous boom in my head...
its so depressing , really it was to me...feels like i was given my own doze of medicine.... people may think im just exaggerating things and being to much sensitive but last night i really know im not, thanks to my mama and papa i manage not to cry...for god damn sake! i was staying cool at that time but momentarily blinded for my care to this person, but then my parents explain it to me well so i took it as cool as i can be...thanks to them i had to escape from embarrassing my self last night. 
they said its not my fault its just im concern to the wrong person...it started when i arrived home last night i read a message from my friend she told me that she were in the house of our close friend so i hurried up to change eat just to see her, in spite of i dont really like to walk cause i get easily tired but although like that still i go to their house but when i was their she didnt even showed even if her sister called her and told her i was in the hall waiting for her cause im really excited to see her cause i treat her as my close friend or even a sister but she refused to...she didn't say it directly to me but im not deaf to not hear what she said to her sister 
"what?why is she here?tell her im sleeping already" 
that is what she instructed her sister to tell me , but i already hear everything she said, so without a word i hurriedly get up took the way to the door and just go home, im ashamed for my self because until now i could see how i still trying to win someones importance even from my so called friends but their not worth the sacrifices and all the attention at all, well it really hurts a lot to me cause i treat her as my sister but i guess thats the end of the line for us, she had her own life now and now i know she really dont give a damn to me even before i know she just suit herself to me cause she dont have a choice she only got me but not everything is different but still im happy for her i just hope our path wont cross again at this time cause if i ever see her i might not talk ti her and i dont want to do that cause i still care for her so much better not to see her again...
its nothing to me right now...i should go on now...im putting this way like this i can still recognize her but i dont know her enough now...on the other side of the story i wont feel any thing that will burdens me cause deep down i know i diddnt do anything to her and i know even if my so called friends changes colors towards me still im happy cause i know we dont have the same feathers and 'ive been good at them thats more important than anything else, i didn't do anything to hurt them ,thankful on the other ends cause for once in a blue moon i've known them for so long and i treat them nice i will just keep up that way on that still i've had a memento from them...
i have learn my lesson to what happen last night - Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

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Thank you for the drop by...ciao fella ^^