...in my dreams only...

Hmmp...i dont know how to explain what im feeling right now...and i dont know how i will handle to say what I've learn in myself to the person who showed me love...its hard but i know that i love with who i am today...i love being single...i love myself...i want to break that boundaries of mine and take that risk to experience that happiness I've been longing for such a long time...i wanna travel the world...i want to travel and meet bunch of people and see how beautiful world is...but i think i cant do this as of now...but i will strive hard to get to france...after that haha i bet i better face my lovelife...cause for sure by that time im secured (and old...hahahahaha) and i know who am i...i know myself already...my family is good and maybe that time...i can merely see who will be the man last standing before me...and will say "HEY!IM HERE IN FRONT OF YOU...AND I'VE WAITED FOR YOU IN SUCH A LONG TIME & I LOVE YOU THATS WHY IM HERE...THE MAN WHO NEVER GET BORED ON WAITING FOR YOU & THE MAN WHO NEVER STOP LOVING YOU"...KORNEY!!!!hahahah but yah this is my weird side saying this whole lot of OA stuff about my dream love...hehe im so loveless...s*! but im happy...very much happy...i just wish the man who loves me today wont grow tired on waiting and will still hold on haha but i guess only "crazy" person would wait for me...well well well im not the only girl in the world ....hahahhaha so the ending..i still dont know...i will let God write my own love story...do you find it nice?if not it's ok...cause for me i do think it is nice hehe

...journey

...what a long day...cant wait to rest...

..."cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do nothing prove ...and its you and me and all of the people and i dont know why i cant keep my eyes out of you..."

this is my fav. song...oh my god...i will be busy for sure next week...im so worried huhu,im thinking about the "WHAT IF & IF's" of life...please God be with me...hehe

i know the road ahead is not that easy... but i believe in God and i believe in myself...^^ hahahah AJA!

Part 3

...hi!yah...you...dont smile...^^ hahahahhahaha

...i hope you will wait for mr MR.LOVE...hahahah i call my soon to be special someone MR.LOVE...if God will give you to me,i will be happy...but for now...please kindly wait cause i want to be ready if i say yes to you...im not perfect and theres nothing perfect here in the world...right now im enjoying God's company...

Not yet ready man!olah...hahahahahahhaha but i know God has been making His own ways...and not just ways...SPEACIAL WAYS...hahahhaha

Part 2

...TRY IT!have you try what i suggested on my last post?...if not yet or no...well its your own prerogative...
Its nice how people fall in love...There is someone out there God has plan for me and hope that person wont give up waiting till i pick up myself and find my true happiness and fulfillment in life...In my age i wanna take risk and experience more valuable things for myself and enjoy being single...Cause being single is so "ASTIG!" and with God with me...NOTHING ELSE MATTER...I'VE GONE THROUGH TOUGH TIMES...AND SWEET MOMENTS IN MY LIFE...thanks to GOD...hahahahah i sound creepy eh?...

-1 Corinthians 13-

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"

wandering soul...

...As i was growing as a woman...all i notice is the feeling of emptiness...i really dont understand cause as far as i know,i am very much love by my family...i have real friends...

I was a self committed single woman,I dont believe in a "HAPPY ENDING" realtionship...and most of all i dont have a bf...That was all before...

After that first love trap i was so boring with my self...all was a routine for me...'house... school...studies...eat... watching t.v...listening music...'and i did not notice i was growing up lonely,cause of that freaking failure i've experience...but we all gone through that...the wrong thing of my part was that i took it seriously... but now if there were times i can recall my first failure about what love means all i can feel is that im happy to know how cruel life was...and gradually in reality we must face the truth there's no happy endings...hahahhahah 

Now,as i go on with my life,there's is this man who gives me an idea what love means...he pursue the thing he wants...he helps me see's life is a maze and beautiful...y maze?cause i can see and i've learn when we look ahead  on what we are right now,theres a lot of different roads that should we will be taking,roads that leads us to the ends of our reasons and decisions in life...but im confused y?...understand my answer from the explanation see after this : 

"im confused since then...this was my problem before,to have a relationship...cause im confused...feels like...yah!i want him to be my bf...but on the deepest part of my mind and soul theres something missing in myself...it's empty...for so many times i let love pass me by because im not ready to commit on someone cause im still searching looking for that spark i lost or shall i say the spark i always wanted in my life...im refering to this special person that i myself...FINALLY FOUND him...i dont know what happen i just think of him and ask his forgiveness and surrender my self to him...with him...i find my peace of mind...i find love...unconditional one...a love that would never betray me and understanding...He never blame me if i do wrong..He wont shout on me if i commit mistakes...He always let me know He is there always with me and He is willing to accept the BEST & WORST of myself...He im talking about is GOD...

...WOW!i am so high if i talk to him...He is the best thing that happen to me...If i talk to him about the problems he lighten up my burden...He understands me...people around me,acts like they know me in and out...but they just dont know they dont really know me at all..im a faker when it comes to myself...they see me jolly...irritate easily and lots of stuff like im so "kalog"...hahahahah they thought im immature the real thing is i hide the real me cause i dont want to be vulnerable...and i get hard to trust someone...but he taught me how to be soft...still i dont show myself who really am i...cause all i want to be accepted by the worst of me...and the,lets see if who would be the right one that will be worthy of my BEST...

I ask HIM to enlighten up my mind every time im in trouble handling myself temper...i know very well myself...im a demon inside if im mad...and crap!im so awkward when im good hahahaah
God never fails me to be a good one...and im happy i found what i really want now...i want to find myself first and serve God while im still young and waiting for the person he destined to give me...I want to find my special someone together with Him...I always put in my mind now...GOD NEVER FAILS US...
its up to us on how we execute well our decisions in life...

Now i know why i feel so empty and hard to get into a relationship right now...it is because for a long time i forgot about HIM...i forgot GOD in my life...that is why i feel empty...confuse...I never regret the day i say yes to GOD...cause with Him i can say hahahah IM IN MY HIGH...I love someone but now that i have HIM now,i wont let HIM go and i dont want to forgot about HIM again...i just want to spend more time again with God..

God loves us unconditionally...try to find your own happiness with HIM...and with His blessing...