Monday, July 25, 2011

some realizations and some decisions

Is it really applicable in real life?

I decided to stop opening my personal Facebook account,their are a lot of things i should somehow give up,besides theirs  nothing  i will benefit opening and posting in it anyways,its true that its very in right now,but to people like me,its just simply opening a page,simple as that,so passive.. .>.<
One more thing, im not done yet with my ex-bestfriend..."ex-bestfriend" yes,because i still hate the point i erase everything reminds me to him...i erase him in my friends list,i erase his number so i wont be able to text him,but,he texted me and then i wasn't able to recognize him so his piss off with me also,hahhah well its for the better anyways.

I don't like liars,it will be the last resort of a person i would like,and for me that attitude is the WORST & the MOST BEAST of all the things i i understand and now i can answer all of my questions to myself well.

How did i find and solve my self problems? maybe too complicated to elaborate all the things that sums up all my questions. yesterday someone makes me understood myself more,and helps me appreciate myself more. Someone explains me how do people think about me,it goes like this :
"if i want something or if i have a goal and aim that i badly want i really do my best to obtain  it,i dont give up easily,just like if how i badly want my job now,it was so clear to me that im still existing on my work until now because i love my job and a dedicate my learnings to it...and i conclude that its really right,i really have a strong affirmation,i stand what i believe is right and i dont jump directly to conclusions,i make sure i wont fail badly,because you know we all not perfect but at our very least we should do our best to live our lives happily,a life we wont regret at the end because of we dont do this,we dont do that. Oh come on!we all have our choices,if we choose not to do it well we are just tangle in that very situation,unless we make our move to climb up and  breath some air,you know something like that. And then i was told your not a useless person,you make people happy,your kind,sweet,candid and their are lot of people expect you to be like that,to be like this that is why you contain your emotions and make people around you your ok with that even if it wasn't exactly  what you feel.
I cant stop my tears from falling as i dig in more and more to myself,i came to a realization that all the things that i've hear is really the person i was looking for a long time,i really dont know that good person t\thats been said it was me,but then as i look back,i can say maybe they are right on saying i contain my emotions and set aside myself to make other people happy.
And to my Singleness drama life,well as i dig that part,it was right im so alone because i was chasing after a bullet train indeed,why?cause i was chasing nothing but my own shadow,i dont let myself get out i make myself a prisoner and lock my heart away to people who loves me, maybe im not that brave but i know i made the right decisions in my life now,at least no one can point finger upon me at the end of the day cause i know i did not hurt anyone because im not into someones life,and no one can question how i manage to live my life cause i know theres no one to blame,and also i cant ask WHY I WAS ALONE because i choose this,i choose the path i've been walking through out my existence.
Maybe for now,im single but maybe who knows and God only knows the time i will be ready to open up more myself to someone who is deserving also to love,a person who wont question my being and a person who can show me the difference between single and having commitment to someone,somebody who can make me feel that im wrong at some point and should accept the fact that i need to love the way i should be because as of now i havent seen someone who is true to his words,someone whom dignity is bigger than mine,and someone who makes me tongue tied hahhahah
That is just some of the answers i get from a person who made me realize that at some point i was qwong at some thoughts i had in life,now its very clear unto my head,now im not bitter,im more open to myself a lil'bit,maybe i was just too much contain of my emotions that i reach to the point that i dont see whats going on around me,and now im more better than yesterday,i can trully say I LOVE MYSELF & THE LIFE I'VE BEEN love love....

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Thank you for the drop by...ciao fella ^^