...first time...

...u know the feeling of "uneasy" and "confused"...? yeah u read me right...that is what im feeling about for a couple of months passed by...or shall i say...years passed...oh man!so damn feeling,it sucks,y?cause u dont know how to execute things right...i dont wanna talk or even blow this out before but now im fine and in the stage of sureness now...a lil'bit hesitant to this...OH!I WANNA STOP MY HANDS TYPING haha sounds funny huh...^^

               ...wanna know what im talking about?...oh yeah sure u do...cause u've got to read this line so ur interested huh...

.."Long before i have myself today,i was always on the safe side of the world...i've never experience  the thing they call "LOVE"...its not the general "I REALLY DONT HAVE ONE"..i've gone through the stage of having a crush on somebody...admire someone...infatuated by a man...and until when i first have a bf that was when i enter college...his my man for sure haha cause u know that was the first time i fell in love with the opposite sex...
but i did not realize that was a "total mess...total mistake...total failure..." i never regret though the times i was feeling infatuated by this man,cause he brings out the new horizon of my self...haha but then i realize "i was the only one who's going crazy over this guy and on the other hand his not feeling the same way to unto me"...no regrets...y?cause we seldom see each other...the thing i remember was that he only holds my hand when we go to church and hey!that was once only...haha and the second time was that when he bring me to his house and introduce me to his family and a bunch of friends...uncles...oh my gosh! hahahahah that feeling!yah...that feeling on that day...i can remember i was sweating cold a lot!like...a lot!and i was shivering and shaking when
his parents talk to me feels like i was tortured...hahahaha but it goes well...and then we go to their place and the only thing we always do during this days was that 'TALK' he love to talk to me...as in we sit under the tree and facing each other...if u can only see us before u cant even think his my bf huh!hehe u know i was some kind of a immature thing about having a realationship so i dont know how to handle that before...but i can see in him that he was happy...even if he only holds my hands if we're on church and other than that theres no more...hahaha i feel sorry for the guy...and!!!! for me his gentle man...he never attempt to kiss me,he just hold my hand and we just TALK...TALK...TALK...he loves talking a lot...until such day i found out he cheated on me...so i hated him...i hated all the guys...and from then i was hardened... yah I was...I was so bitter since that...i dont trust a man's word anymore...until i found out there is someone out there who never fails to love me...never reject me...most of all never betray me...and that was the day i was so happy being with him...i find peace with him...i always go to him after my classes...and then ask forgiveness for the coldness i showed to people sorrounds me...wanna know who's this man i was talking about?

...this is GOD...and he was so good to me...