A COVENANT TO GOD

Supposed, that i'll be looking back the ME a year ago up to at this very moment... I can say i just didnt advance a notch... actually, theres no trace of relevance, why? well, it may sound creep to other people, but for sure to people who read my blog, they somehow know a little bit from me...

Before,as u know, i was a stone pillar, there are things that i know i made the wrong decision with, and im happy i over come that fear... i can show a creepy smile because of that certain part of my life thats been a Total MESS for me...then after the year 2010 ended, at the first day of this year just dont know exactly the date already but after new year as i can recall i cane up to a realization that im messing too much with my life, i lied for too long to my family and to myself, so i decided to bring back who i used to be, i step out to the four corners of my room, and choose to live a healthy life and a happy life again, i admit i used to live a life full of lies just to cover up for somebody who i thought worth it all, i was too naive that time but then as people learn their lessons it will be easy to move on and accept that I AM WRONG and I FAILED in an area of my life... I once forget my covenant to God... 

I can still remember how i struggle in that stage... confused are everywhere... i choose to live life full of conformity due to my selfishness. I had a poor understanding of a family, i was once carried away by temptation of being free... i didn't wait... thanks to my parents, they raise me well... i grow and learn as a woman who i am today... i accept i was wrong before, they are wrong also but so am i... but it serve a lesson to me... 

I was not a woman who really chase love life... frankly, it doesn't move a bit of my nerve... my friends, cousins and close friends, they have their love life... but i dont feel the same way of longing like them, i dont remember falling in love before, but i remember admiring someone, my cousins used to tell me YOU'RE REALLY WEIRD! WHY CANT YOU FIND A BOYFRIEND? ! LOOK AT US! its all the same with my friends, they used to tell me the same line also over and over... i just laugh, cause i know whenever they strive to be someone else they can never be just like me... im proud of myself... that will be one of the few things i can brag about myself, my strong affirmation about my prerogative in life. having a relationship and being single is no big deal to me... i just dont know why, i only love one person and thats until now, even if its impossible but at most were happy , we both are! ^^ its not because im envious or anything about people who are over heals drop down because of their love for someone, they for me are so pathetic... given that im too much because of what i say, but i know what im saying... trust me haha ^^ parents are always good, and maturity is a thing... no need to rush and pressure self to get into relationship... i only love one person... and that will be the man God will give me... ^^ i found that already, but only God can tell, cause right now its not for real... there are a lot of things to work out...

i can put his face all over just to know and feel his closer than the flip side of the world, rather...^^

thank God im happy with the people i love... and i have a simple life... 

maybe is just a word... TO BE CONTINUED... ^^