my life movie and its music - part I

i love movies & music the most...almost all my time if i have my day off from work all of my spare time goes to watching movies...and the movies i love the most is HOLLYWOOD movies, and Taiwanese movies...i just dont know how did i end up loving Taiwanese film,for me there is one specific and certain spice in Taiwan movies...even there t.v series i also watch them when i have a break in the office i just cant take that into my circulation. 

there are lots of movies i've seen and they are all amazing! these past few days i havent wrote anything because im still finishing the movie...

when it comes to movies and music , its like my baby...no one can ever pull that off out of me...both are connected in my world. all my dvd's and tapes i dont want them to be borrowed, hah that is how im so obsessed in music and movies...thats simply me, but behind all that simplicity is the thought that whenever i did wrong, feel aloof , scared , mad, angry and feels no one to turn to and feels the world turn their back at me i just simply put my earphones...play the music and boom! i feel fine and at ease...thats the difference between friends and your passion...friends leaves you and sometimes at the most important time of your life, but your passion never ever can be pulled out of you. maybe not all people understand what im talking about...but in 21 years of living in this world, gone through all those struggles in life as growing up, i've seen and deal and meet lots of different personality and the different faces of a person.

some goes and you cant say some stay...because practically speaking they all come and goes just like our owed life...it can be live once so why chase those people who come and just goes? whats the deal? well, for some they have an answer to that but to me i still dont believe in in such philosophy about people stays by your side for the rest of our lives. not all people understand music really well, if they can sing, they think they are good enough and they are musicians, but they dont know what really music means to real born musicians...all can sing and dance but not all have the passion and heart on understanding and loving that gift...see what i mean? ^^ im too into something that no one understand me, im just too concern to the people around me to not let them get hurt and put them first...before anything else...

then suddenly i get tired on that feeling, im not selfish anyway...am i? i do whatever they want me to do, go to school, listen to what they say, never embarrass them, be a good daughter, finish my studies and be a woman with self dignity, and i can say im one of a kind because of them, but i grew tired already, i lost my will to still pursue that day...because all i want is to enjoy my spare time and enjoy what i love, why cant they let me free for a while...its just im too pressure on things...its true that sometimes i feel useless, yah i have a job but i cant still go to place i want to, im too old to mingle...still im left alone...no one dares to court me or to be friend me because they are intimidated by what i become now, why cant i have real friend that wont ask pathetic things in life hah maybe thats how it ends...im just too complicated on things...

 im successful but im not happy..haha now i can say that? it takes so long for me to say im not happy at certain things in my life nw...i dont ask for more i just want to live life simply the way i want...^^ but im almost there already...just a little more sacrifices...when im done i can live my life the way i just love to live it...thank you God for another day of contentment...