whatever it takes

i know im happy with myself...

the thing right now is last night as i was lying in my bed, i notice something around me, 

its very cold, so lonely, so gloomy, so dark, pain is their, very aloof i fell inside of me, dump feeling, sorrow is stinging, its just too morbid and hurtful

i ask myself, WHATS WRONG? WHY AM I SAD LIKE THIS? WHATS THE MATTER WITH ME? WHY SO EMPTY? & WHY THIS FEELING KEEPS ON COMING BACK?

then it goes into my mind its really neither of the either way...it wont work out...cause i myself dont want to...its not that i cant accept the fact but its that i chose to walk this way...well sometimes i feel alone but it doesn't mean   i regret the thing ive chosen.

then my brother tell me, you know what dont be too comlicated to yourself, just breath for a while and calm stay cool as you are, youre not like them or the others but they can never be just like you

maybe thats right, maybe im just thinking too much. 

i dont ask for things i dont have i just want a happy life and people i love's attention ...maybe thats it, cause i feel alone if no one remembers to ask if im ok, thanks to my father and mama they take my stress away they stay with me just to see me smile if they think im so pissed off 

maybe i'll get through with this... 

for now i will just lighten up some load to clear up my mind...see ya tonight my baby blog...

i will promise to post something interesting tomorrow...thats all for now i know its like a crap to others  but for me this is my refuge...this is the only thing that wont ask me questions thats so freakin damn annoying 

here no one will ask me stuffs that are so nonsense that make them so pathetic 

and here i can say things that i dont usually utter 

thanks to my solitary... i'll do whatever it takes ...^^